10 Things: Publishing, Pudding, Polyamory, Pigeons
All my recommendations for what to remember, read, support, make, think about, consider, watch, and crack this week.
Hello Friends!
Today’s 10 things starts heavily in the land of feminism and polyamory and lands, for paid subscribers, somewhere deep in the past, among nuts. I will leave it there.
REMEMBER: Jezebel
Jezebel was the first “real” publication where I ever published anything, and I remember how it felt to have my first piece go live: like I could die and it would be fine, because this was the only thing I really ever wanted to do, and I had done it.
The piece was about polyamory, and people in the comments were mad; they were sure this was just a phase for me. I kind of liked how mad they were. I appreciated what it felt like to work with an editor; I worked with Emma Carmichael on that piece, and later, Jia Tolentino (!!!) was my editor there. I felt like I belonged, and like I finally knew what my life was supposed to be. Jezebel is a big part of why I ended up writing my first book.
Jezebel’s toppling marks the end of an era.
I loved this piece in Dirt this week on “remembering Jezebel.” It is beautifully curated and walks around a lot of different ways that the site worked through its many hey-days.
They also linked to this piece in The Guardian by
about the end of a certain era of feminism, and this one about why advertisers don’t like sites like Jezebel, because the stories they run make people sad and upset.All excellent reads. Of course, Jezebel was imperfect. But I’ll still raise a glass to the website that helped me get on board with feminism, and see what the internet had the power to do. So long, old friend. You’ll be missed.
READ AND SUPPORT: Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home by Alex Alberto
Alex emailed me about their book, and I was on board immediately. They said they were looking to put out a book that dove into beautiful, happy, poly narratives — exploring what it looked like when polyamory worked and worked well. The book they have written is like a warm hug. It jumps back and forth between storytelling, pop culture, and cultural criticism, and even includes some sort of theatre-esque dialogues. It’s such a joy to spend time with.
Alex is putting this book out as an arm of their self-built publishing collective — which, how does anyone have time to do such an amazing thing? Here’s what they wrote about it:
Our mission is to collectivize publishing and create a model that affords creative control and ownership to authors of non-traditional stories. We function as a co-op managed by authors. Our first cohort of memoirs includes mine, and two by my collaborators: one about trans bodily autonomy, and one about postpartum struggles.
You can pre-order this book and support the publishing collective at the same time right here. And allow your heart to fill up all the way to the top with joy!
MAKE: Chia pudding
OK, don’t @ me, but I’m just not a fan of overnight oats. They’re sludgy. It doesn’t work for me. But this recipe for make-on-Sunday-and-it-lives-in-the-fridge-all-week chia seed pudding is somehow different and better, and is totally joyful to experience in my mouth every day.
To make it: brew two cups of black chai tea (three tea bags) in a big pitcher. Add a cup of almond milk, a heaping tablespoon of agave nectar, and a pinch of cinnamon and salt. Then add a full cup of chia seeds. Chop some apples or pears and some pecans and set aside. (I think I did three apples. Maybe a 1/2 cup of pecans. But this is variable. You decide.)
Decant the chia mixture into five separate jars, top with the apple and the pecans, put on the lids, and stick in the fridge. Tomorrow, you will have a chewable tea loaded with protein. What marvelous sorcery.
FALL IN LOVE WITH: Mother Pigeon
Easily the best and most important things I own are two felt pigeons given to me by my mom’s good friend Sandy when I got married. I stare at them constantly and can’t believe I get to live in the same house as them. I mean, just look at that pigeon! Don’t you feel like you kind of need one?
You can’t get one, probably. They were made by Mother Pigeon, and she is all out of them, because she sold them for just $40 each, and that is criminally inexpensive.
But Mother Pigeon DOES stage little scenes with her felt pigeons and felt rats all over New York. You think you are seeing real pigeons and rats, but really, you’re seeing her installations. This is a miracle. Can you believe we get to live at the same time as this human? Neither can I.
Meanwhile, here is a very cute felt pigeon you can buy on Etsy for under $20. It’s not as good, but it will have to do.
READ: On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen
This book has not been good for my marriage to a human man, but it has been an amazing journey. Elise Loehnen is a rare talent with the ability to weave journalism, memoir, and research in a way that is compelling and hypnotizing. She makes such an incredible series of cultural arguments here around the ways that the seven deadly sins affect women. The Enneagram is in here; so is communal living, and frank discussions about money. She manages to talk about everything that I want to talk about. This book is depressing, because it shows how far we still need to go; but it’s also illuminating. It gives language to ideas that feel so clear in the body but are hard to articulate. There is a reason this is a best-seller. If you haven’t read it, it’s time.
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