100 Things

Counting down all my recommendations for what to watch, play, do, cook, listen to, read, and consider in 2023

Hello There!

Another year of SOLID recommendations has passed. This year, I wrote way too many words about each of my recommendations, and so it simply would not make sense to copy + paste every little thing I wrote about each of these items. I copied some of the words for some of the items. If you need explanations for any of these other things, feel free to reach out, or hit up the comments section.

There were more than 300 things recommended in total this year, so the top 100 is the best of the best. Starting with #100 and counting down to the best of the best.

I am ado-ing too much. No further.

100: Citrus curd

An unusual problem I have is that in the summer I always have too many eggs. (In the winter I don’t ever have enough eggs, because I get accustomed to having too many, and chickens really don’t lay eggs in winter, and then there you are, eggless during baking season.) The way I’ve solved this problem, mostly, is by giving them away to anyone who comes over to my house. But if no one comes over for three consecutive days, I have ten trillion eggs, and what am I to do?

As I’ve written previously, I’ve learned about making meringue topping, which I had no idea was so easy and required no oven. But what a shame about the yolks.

WELL, OK, THAT’S WHY THERE IS CITRUS CURD.

Obviously, people knew this. There’s a reason why lemon meringue pie is lemon meringue pie. The thing that that actually is is EGG PIE WITH LEMON JUICE. I just didn’t put it together. I also didn’t realize how simple it was to make curd, nor did I understand that you can make citrus curd with any kind of citrus. Here’s how:

• In a saucepan, melt 4 tablespoons of (vegan!?!?!?!) butter, combined with 1/4 cup citrus juice, plus the zest (2 tablespoons should do it), 3/4 cups sugar, a little bit of salt. Beat in four egg yolks.

• Cook over medium heat for four to six minutes, until the mixture has thickened enough to form a solid line when you dip a spatula in it.

• Remove from heat. Add another 2 tablespoons of butter, stir until melted.

• You’re supposed to strain it, but I didn’t and I liked what I made much better than what I get at the store, because I love the little fruit bits. You can strain it if you want. Strain it or don’t, but chill it for two hours. The end.

• VEGANS! If you don’t have access to egg yolks from very very loved hens (or you, fairly, don’t believe any egg yolks are ethical), I love this lemon curd recipe from Minimalist Baker. I’ve made it probably 20 times in my life and have never been disappointed. It’s also deceptively simple.

99: Leigh Ross: “To Learn”

98: “Drifting Off” With Joe Pera

97: “Next In Fashion” on Netflix

96: This Article About Seed Catalogs by Jill Lepore

95: A Small-Town Paper Lands a Very Big Story by Paige Williams

94: Megan Reid (@ihaveabook4that) on Instagram

93: “Lovesick” on Netflix

92: Connections Game

91: These bird articles:

• This essay by a science writer who went out with a birder who was trying to see 10,000 different bird species?

• This article about whether or not the ivory billed woodpecker is ACTUALLY extinct or not?

• This interactive study about how birdsong has mental health benefits?

90: Tricked-out Deuter backpacking backpack.

89: Trader Joe’s tissue paper

88: The best fabric flowers

My friend Jess and I made a bunch of types of fabric flowers, and these were the best ones that were also not that difficult to make. I’ll link to a video, but if you like to read simple directions, here you go!:

• Cut 8 equal fabric circles. (Use a cup to trace them so they’re all the same size.)

• Fold the circles into quarters.

• With a needle and thread, run a stitch along the curved edge of the folded circle, sewing all the loose ends together. 

• Pull the thread, so that the fabric bunches, forming a petal.

• Repeat on the same length of thread until you’d made eight petals, then sew the first and last together. 

• Hot glue a button in the middle.

87: “The Little Flower Recipe Book” by Jill Rizzo

86: “Acting Class” by Nick Drnaso

85: “A Wing and A Prayer: A Race to Save Our Vanishing Birds” by Anders Gyllenhaal, Beverly Gyllenhaal

84: A baked sweet potato with cabbage and peanut slaw

83: This Bumper Sticker

82: The Podcast Ologies

81: Vegan Greek salad

This week I ate a Greek salad, which would benefit from tomatoes, if I was the kind of person who didn’t think tomatoes were disgusting. This made four servings.

Roast a can of rinsed chickpeas, tossed with olive oil and green goddess seasoning, at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. 

Mince a red onion into little tiny pieces, and a cucumber into little tiny pieces, and a red pepper into little tiny pieces. I have to stress how important it is that you chop into LITTLE TINY PIECES. That’s really the beauty of this salad. Add a cup of chopped Kalamata olives, a cup of chopped dill + mint, and a cup of cooked orzo. Add the cooked chickpeas, olive oil, lemon, and salt. And then you can put in feta, OR you can use vegan feta. Mix it all together and serve over a huge bed of spinach.

This is the second time I’ve purchased vegan feta from Trader Joe’s but I find it scary. I generally only like vegan cheese when it’s been melted, or if it’s a creamy consistency (cashew-based). This vegan cheese is pretty good in this salad, so long as you add it in little chunks. Better, though, is the vegan tzatziki, which stirs in really easily to this salad. Anyway, you are probably not a vegan, so put whatever kind of salty white stuff you want in here!

80: “Minecraft” soundtracks with rain on YouTube

79: The Instagram Librarian

78: Wrap your sushi in rice paper wrappers and then fry it

@veganbunnychef

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Tips on this: Use two sheets of nori, because the stability of the rice paper when fries is sometimes a little dodgy. My shortcut to “sushi rice” in this recipe is (1) use brown rice, which is nuttier; and (2) stir in a tablespoon of mirin, rather than sugar or vinegar. You can add the rice hot, since you’re going to heat this baby up! I was skeptical about heating cucumbers up, but it works in this recipe! Hot avocados work too! I shredded + cornmealed + five-spiced + fried my tofu and holy moly.

I had a bunch of extra filling, which I kept in a bowl. It made a great stir fry the next morning with just a little Soyaki and an egg.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that it is finally, at long last, salad season.

77: Sprouting jars

I actually LOVE sprouts. ALL sprouts. They make me feel (1) like a giant, eating many tiny plants in a single spoonful, and (2) luxurious; like this is the veal of the vegan world, because these plants HAVEN’T EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO DEVELOP YET. Huh. I hope that analogy didn’t turn you off of sprouts. In the end, it’s really, seriously not the same thing as veal.

Anyway, I have done a lot of methods for sprouts, and I’ve returned lately to the most compact and most sure-fire: these multicolored jar lids that screw on to a typical mason jar. You soak the sprouts in the jar overnight, and then every day, you rinse them and shake them a few times, and then leave them upside down on a moderately damp napkin. In three days: sprouts! I ate some today and was thrilled at how spicy and crunchy they were. You can buy a sprout seed mix, or you can sprout stuff you just have around your house: raw lentils, mung beans, shelled sunflower seeds, etc. It’s easy and fun and a great way to have something green in your life when it’s winter.

76: Foot lotion

75: Vagabon: “Sorry I Haven’t Called”

74: “Lessons In Chemistry” by Bonnie Garbus

73: “Romantic Comedy” by Curtis Sittenfeld

72: “The Dream” podcast season one

A conversation on the car ride home, after we watched “Under the Tuscan Sun”

Sophie: They’re putting a coffee shop in there, and I felt excited, but Luke said that it looks like an Herbalife place.

Kat: It probably is one.

Sophie: But how can you know?

Kat: There are ways to tell.

Sophie: Man! 

Kat: I follow a Facebook Group about how to spot MLMs.

Sophie: That topic interests me so much more than it should. I am obsessed with MLMs. I watch every documentary about them, and I like the documentaries so much more than I want to tell you. The Lularoe one? An actually perfect piece of art. Chef’s kiss.

Kat: Mmhmm. I really liked the podcast “The Dream.”

Sophie: (crazed eyes) IS IT ABOUT MLMs?!

Kat: The first season is.

Sophie: A WHOLE SEASON!!?!?!?!??

Kat: (Says lots of nice things about the podcast, like she thinks the journalists are coming from a really kind place, from a place of compassion and not ridicule, but all Sophie hears is “You can spend 10 hours listening to journalism about MLMs.”)

It really IS all of those nice things I assume Kat said about that, but mostly I care that it was informative, entertaining, heartbreaking, infuriating, and riveting. I binged it in like three days. I’m late to the game here, as there’s already a full second season, but guys, I fucking loved it. 

71: Frida Touray: “Out the Sun”

70: Pact dresses

69: Quinoa energy balls

We made too much quinoa this week (who hasn’t done this!?) and having all that extra quinoa reminded me of an energy ball snack that I used to love meal prepping. To make them, combine ½ cup cooked, cooled quinoa, ½ cup oats, 1 cup chopped medjool dates, a teaspoon of maple syrup, ¼ cup almonds, ¼ cup lemon juice, ¼ cup almond milk, and some sea salt in a food processor or blender. Roll the resulting goo into balls and then roll the balls in hemp hearts. Refrigerate. Eat all the time. 

68: Bowen Yang as Christopher Columbus saying he discovered boy genius

67: This timeless comedy clip about gay bugs

66: Mother Pigeon

Easily the best and most important things I own are two felt pigeons given to me by my mom’s good friend Sandy when I got married. I stare at them constantly and can’t believe I get to live in the same house as them. I mean, just look at that pigeon! Don’t you feel like you kind of need one?

You can’t get one, probably. They were made by Mother Pigeon, and she is all out of them, because she sold them for just $40 each, and that is criminally inexpensive.

But Mother Pigeon DOES stage little scenes with her felt pigeons and felt rats all over New York. You think you are seeing real pigeons and rats, but really, you’re seeing her installations. This is a miracle. Can you believe we get to live at the same time as this human? Neither can I.

Meanwhile, here is a very cute felt pigeon you can buy on Etsy for under $20. It’s not as good, but it will have to 

65: “How To With John Wilson” on HBO

64: “DeCodependence” by Lila Ash

63: “Sledgehammer” by Sam Alden

Sam is a friend of mine, but we’re only friends because I wrote him a compelling fan letter — which is to say, I was a fan of his before we met. I bought this gorgeous comic (half of the proceeds of the pay-what-you-can story go to Survived and Punished), and felt deeply compelled to savor it. It’s a story about a mother and a daughter, and Sam has a unique talent for capturing what it means to be human with few words. He knows how to make scenes that emotionally crush you, in the best way possible. I highly recommend gobbling this up.

62: Kelcey Ervick’s newsletter,

The Habit of Art

61: Tofu ricotta

I’ve had more-than-friends helping me out lately, which has included, magically, a few folks making our family a few meals. Our friend Sophia made some tofu ricotta, which absolutely blew my mind; I’d never had it before! Here’s a photo of the ricotta on top of a slice of bread from a loaf that was brought over by Sky of Sky’s Chili Crisp, and then topped with some Sky’s Chili Crisp, which was also brought over by Sky of Sky’s Chili Crisp. (Sky also brought over some life-restoring congee and soul-restoring conversation. And I’ve heard a rumor that you might soon be able to order this chili crisp; I promise to tell you when that happens.)

To make the ricotta: blend 14-ounce (400g) block of extra-firm tofu, 1/4 cup (20g) nutritional yeast, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder, 1/2 teaspoon onion powder, 1 heaping teaspoon kosher salt, Freshly cracked black pepper, 1 1/2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, 1 medium lemon, zested, and 1 tablespoon juice, plus more taste.

The recipe came from this post, which frankly is BRIMMING with amazing recipes, and I want to try them all.

60: “Platonic” on Apple TV

59: Chia jam

I’ve always been kind of snobby about the concept of chia jam. Why wouldn’t I just have regular jam? I have thought. But then a morning came where I’d baked a nice loaf of kind of salty bread, but there was no actual jam in the fridge. What there WAS was a carton of raspberries.

Here is what I did, and I was open to having it not work: I mashed the carton of raspberries up with a tablespoons of chia seeds and teaspoon of maple syrup.

THIS DID WORK, AND WAS, FOR FOUR DAYS, BETTER THAN REGULAR JAM.

58: The Floral Observer

57: This reflective bike jacket

Kat bought me this jacket by (the amazing Chicago collective) Bike Lane Uprising for Christmas. It. Is. Wild. You know how mail carriers’ pants have that silver stripe on the knees that super reflective? It’s like THIS WHOLE JACKET IS MADE OF THAT. You wear it and you just glow in the dark. I wore it while biking a few miles yesterday and already received two compliments on it. It is a really special item. If you ever bike at night, this article of clothing really could save your life. 

56: Gardener’s World

55: “Good Inside” by Dr. Becky Kennedy

54: Brush signing pens

53: Making a terrarium

52:

Last Week's New Yorker Review

by Sam Circle on Substack.

51: Are you remembering polenta?

A few times a year I go, “Hey. Am I remembering polenta?” I don’t know why polenta gets forgotten so much. I am always remember rice, quinoa, and even buckwheat groats. But especially when it’s a little chilly and you want a belly-warming meal, a creamy bowl of polenta makes such a good base for roasted veggies, and feels satisfying in an in-between-soup-and-stir-fry kind of a way. If you’re a polenta novice, here’s how to make it: bring four cups of water to a boil, with a little salt. Slowly whisk in one cup of polenta (it’s just coarse corn-meal, friend!), then whisk constantly until there are no lumps. Lower the heat and keep whisking for about five minutes. Then cover and cook until the polenta is thick and creamy, whisking every five minutes or so for up to 30 minutes. Turn off the heat and stir in some butter (or vegan butter or olive oil and/or truffle salt) until it melts.

A few ways we like to eat polenta in this house:

• With charred tomatoes and roasted shiitake mushrooms with thyme. (In the last five minutes of roasting, add a half a cup of white wine and the let it cook off.)

• With a super-simple ratatouille, which might just be zucchini, eggplant, red peppers, and tomatoes, cooked on the stove with some spices.

• With jammy blueberries, heated on the stove with a quarter cup of water, a tablespoon of maple syrup, and a little butter.

• With spicy tomato sauce, pine nuts, and roasted cauliflower.

You can also just have polenta as polenta. If you have polenta left over, refrigerate and then reheat it by pan-frying it as little cakes. Treats for days. 

40: Stabilo 3-in-1 pencils

49: “Shrinking” on Apple TV

48: “An Immense World” by Ed Yong:

I don’t totally know why it took me this long to read this. My girlfriend Kat read it last year and loved it and talked about it constantly. They learned from this book that jumping spiders can see the moon. It was such a beautiful thought that I made it into an embroidered hat. (I don’t know why I didn’t take even ONE PHOTO OF THIS HAT, but I didn’t.) Then in the fall, when I was having my students choose books for us to read in Writer’s Studio, I asked Kat for a nonfiction book to nominate, and they chose this, with six exclamation points. But the students chose “Crying In H Mart,” so I’m ashamed to say it took this list from The New York Times to convince me to finally read it. I am only halfway through (It’s long! And also, it’s BIG, in a different way.), but wow, what a magnificent book. If you are a person who thought, because the Internet told you, that mantis shrimps see ten trillion colors more than we do (or whatever): this book explains why THAT’S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE. The chapter on pain is tender, gorgeous, and thought-provoking. Every person who can read SHOULD read this book. It will make you a better participant in the global project of being an animal.

47: “Cooking With Mushrooms” by Andrea Gentl.

46: Videos of bee guys

Yes, it’s getting very 4H Clubby in here, but the main thing that’s been on my mind in every spare moment (and there have been VERY few) this week have been my bees. I have a lot of thoughts about them, and really, I love them very much, in a way I didn’t expect to. But the love I feel for these bees has led me to need to watch a lot of videos of people dealing with bee issues, because I have bee issues. It’s always this certain type of guy, and I love him. Like, watch this guy at 3:47, talking about ignoring the “free bees.” (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT “FREE BEES” MEANS.)

Here’s this guy looking under the top cover to get a mite (!?!) to “become [the bees’] friend for today” (!?!?!)

And this Australian (I think?) man who just goes on wild romps and talks about how happy the bees are and takes a super long time just staring at the bees and giggling like it’s Christmas morning.

I’ve started putting these on in the background, letting this type of man talk to me about bees while I’m doing other things. He is so CALMED by them! It calms ME. I watch these right before I fall asleep, and sometimes first thing in the morning. I don’t know what it is about these older, grizzled men lovingly and tenderly handling beehives, but it makes the world seem less awful.

45: PBS Kids Games

One of the most insidious things about the world is that companies know that parents are exhausted and will do anything to get their children to be distracted and occupied and safe all at once. And so companies make a TON of predatory apps for iPads, just for tired parents to download and then be forced to subscribe to for tons of money. And it’s so, so sad — partially because the apps aren’t even pretty or well designed or pleasant to be in the same room as.

For parents who are letting their kids touch an iPad: the PBS kids game app is the only app, period the end. It is free, it has a ton of age-appropriate games, there are no ads, there is a lot of representation of different types of people, and you can just download it and not have to worry about how you are being scammed. The Scribbles and Ink game is fun. It’s basically just a Procreate board for a kid, with prompts for things that they can draw. This is what my child wants to do (draw), because she sees her mom drawing on the iPad for work; so it’s nice to give her this game where her drawings come to life, AND I JUST DON’T HAVE TO WORRY THAT THIS THING WILL EAT A HOLE IN MY CREDIT CARD AND TAKE MY CHILD DOWN A WEIRD ADVERTISING HELLSCAPE WHERE IT GRIPS HER ATTENTION SPAN LIKE HEROIN. That simile DOES NOT work, but I do feel mad.

44: “Under the Henfluence” by Tove Danovich

43: Hidden veggies pasta sauce

Guess what? I’m officially a parent of a picky eater! Fifteen-month-old Tanager only eats orange and brown foods. This means that while she does eat mushrooms, tofu, butternut squash, and sweet potatoes, she rejects everything green, and fifteen-month-olds are supposed to eat THREE SERVINGS of green things a day! (Well, they’re supposed to eat three servings of vegetables. But I think the people who make these rules probably hope that some of the vegetables are green.) I got this pasta sauce recipe from PlantYou on Instagram and adjusted it to include more spinach, and IT DELIVERED. T ate a whole bowl of pasta with this sauce all over it — easily two tablespoons of veggies. Also, I ate it, and it was GREAT. It’s a nice, sort of sweet sauce that would be hard to feel offended about. 

Chop 3 tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 carrots, 1 red or orange bell pepper, 2 zucchini; and smash 5 cloves of garlic. Place them all in a single layer on a baking sheet, and drizzle with olive oil and salt. Roast at 400 degrees for 25 minutes, or until the carrots are soft and the tomatoes have burst. Add the roasted veggies to a blender along with a can of crushed tomatoes and 3 heaping cups of spinach. Season with salt and pepper. Serve over a bowl of yummy cooked pasta, which every toddler likes (right?).

42: Ordering someone cookies (or having someone else order them for you)

41: Emily Bernstein’s newsletter,

TBH [Emily Bernstein's Substack]

40: “Under The Tuscan Sun”

A few weeks ago, Kat said that she’d heard on a podcast she likes that “Under The Tuscan Sun,” the 2003 movie that I remember as being billed as very much “for women,” had sort of a gay ending, and that we should maybe watch it together. Kat and I almost never get through a movie together, because we have to stop and gossip and talk about feelings and everything, but we gave it a shot, and WOW. First of all, if you happen to be an early “Grey’s Anatomy” fan, get ready: Christina Yang and Addison Montgomery are in this, AND THEY ARE LESBIAN LOVERS. So rarely do dreams come so true. And that’s only the beginning of a magical movie in which Diane Lane goes on a gay tour of Tuscany (really), follows a woman in a black hat who is rubbing live ducklings on her face in a farmer’s market (really), happens upon a decrepit villa that’s for sale in the countryside and decides to buy it (but the old woman who owns it isn’t so sure about Diane Lane, but then a pigeon shits on Diane’s head and then the woman blesses the purchase [really]). There’s an owl. There’s a snake. There’s a kitten named Piccolo and a female orgasm. And yes, besides, a superfluous and unnecessary end-of-movie cameo by Christopher from “Gilmore Girls,” the ending is quite gay. Is it my favorite movie now? I think YES. 

39: Kate McKinnon on “SNL”

I’ve told you that I watch SNL every week. It is basically the only thing that I watch reliably. My main feeling about the current season is that I hate Andrew Dismukes. I can’t believe I’m saying this publicly — and below the Paid Content Line is a good place to say it, because I feel safe with you. I understand that it is VERY HARD to be a comedy writer, and that it is a thing I could not ever do. And still: I harbor an irrational dislike of this small, white man.

Now I will rank for you every episode from this season, from worst to best, with minimal commentary. Also, somehow I fully missed the Emma Stone episode. I think I was traveling. I’ll come back for that one later.

• 7 - Pete Davidson: Disappointing on every level. Is Pete Davidson trying to do Adam Sandler now? It seems like it? 

• 6 - Jason Momoa: He is a cute man. This was a bad episode.

• 5 - Timothée Chalamet: What era is Timothée in right now in his career? I know other people are talking about this, and I don’t care enough to participate; just tell me.

• 4 - Nat Bargatze: Maybe I had low expectations that helped me enjoy this one.

• 3 - Adam Driver: He is good in everything.

• 2 - Bad Bunny: Surprisingly delightful.

• 1 - Kate McKinnon: She is an icon and I could watch her do anything all day always forever and never tire of it.

• You are welcome. 

38: Lunaria.

Another word for this beautiful plant is “Honesty,” which is so lovely, isn’t it? Luke found some on the west side of the park by our house, and cut it for a dried flower display we’re making. May you find some of your own, and marvel that we share the earth with it.

37: Peanut noodle salad

The real treasure is the peanut sauce, which I have developed over 20 years of consuming vegan cookbooks. It’s perfect because it’s FAST. There are tastier, slower peanut sauces, but this is for a weekday afternoon.

Does this look gross? I didn’t think to photograph it until I had already started eating it, and so I guess it maybe looks gross. It was GREAT.

For the salad (enough for a week of weekday meals), combine:

2 diced red peppers

1 diced purple onion

1 seeded, chopped jalapeño

1 head of raw broccoli, thinly sliced

1 small head of purple cabbage

3 carrots worth of carrot peels (peel them until they are only peels)

Slivered radishes

1 package of cooked ramen noodles

1/2 cup crushed peanuts

A block of cubed tofu, baked at 350 for 20 minutes, seasoned with at least salt and pepper; black lime if you have it. (If you don’t have it, get it!)

THE PEANUT SAUCE

3 T peanut butter + 1/2 cup sweet chili sauce + the juice of a lime + 1/4 cup tamari + a squirt of sriracha + 1/4 cup WARM water.

The secret to this emulsifying down to the right consistency is using a tiny whisk (OMG IF YOU DON’T HAVE A TINY WHISK, BUY ONE), and warm water.

36: Kale Salad

I’m back to my roots this week, making massaged kale like I did when I was 24. I don’t really know why I try to have new salads When this salad is my lifelong favorite. You can’t love quit a good salad like this one. Here are the steps to make it perfect:

1. Slice the kale into thin, thin ribbons. Give it a little sprinkle of salt and then massage it to rupture the cell membranes and make the kale nice and tender. Let her rest.

2. Add: ribbons of carrots (use a vegetable peeler), skinny strips of bell peppers, and little broccoli florets.

3. For the dressing: grated ginger and grated raw garlic are really important; invest in a (very cheap) tiny grater, and use frozen ginger cubes heated up in the microwave. Add that to tamari, sesame oil, rice vinegar.

4. Heat some oil up in a cast iron skillet and add a can of rinsed chickpeas. Add a teaspoon of liquid smoke and a tablespoon of soy sauce. Keep turning them until they’re crispy.

5. Mix it all together, call it a good day.

35: Joanna Sternberg’s I’ve Got Me 

34: Boy Smells candle in Hinoki Fantome

33: “Matilda the Musical”

32: My Winter Playlist

31: My Fall Playlist

30: My summer playlist

This playlist is intended to be put on while you’re sitting in a backyard and the vibe is very much, “I’ve been waiting all year for this.” The drink is chilled watermelon blended with mint. Your feet are in sandals; maybe they’re getting spritzed by a sprinkler. This isn’t barbecue music. It’s late afternoon, eating the basil leaves straight from the plant because they don’t need anything extra music. It’s “what bird is that?” music. It’s “hey I want to tell you a secret” music, and you do it in a low voice, and the other person thinks the secret is amazing.

29: A return address stamp

28: “My Year In Mensa” podcast with Jamie Loftus

27: “I’ll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife & Motherhood” by Jessi Klein

Within the first 20 pages of this book, I was actually sobbing. This isn’t unheard of for me when it comes to a book, but nevertheless, this is a special book for a certain type of person. It’s about early motherhood, and in particular, early motherhood for a woman who is and was a working writer. I excerpted a little of one of the essays in my Wednesday post this week, but it’s hard to really explain how powerful this book has been for me in this exact moment of my life. I feel like I needed it. It has helped me access a deep loneliness that I didn’t want to admit I felt, and it’s comforted that part of me. I’m a big fan of Jessi Klein’s already, so I bought this book thinking that I would like it because I like HER; but I like it on a deeper level than I expected. She has an essay about a caterpillar turning into a butterfly that’s MASTERFUL. This is saying something, because aren’t there 30,000 essays about butterflies already? What could possibly be said that is new? But what she says is new. (I cried while reading that one, and while reading four others so far, and I’m only halfway through. To be clear: I could have finished this book this week, but I couldn’t stand the idea of not having more of it to read, so I have been portioning it out like it is the last strawberry cake on earth.)

(Alright: another note, having read two more essays. Yesterday, I realized that I was parsing the book out not only because it’s wonderful, but because it’s [I simply cannot think of a different word for this] kinda triggering. Like, it’s so exactly of the moment I’m living inside that reading it feels a little like getting a deep tissue massage, and at some point, it starts to hurt. So be warned, if you, too, are in early parenthood.)

26: “South Side” on HBO

25: Stone fruit caprese salad

I’m a vegan and I dislike tomatoes, so caprese salad feels basically doomed for me.

OR IS IT?

Presenting this salad, which is one of the Top Two Best Moments Of Summer for me. (The other one is a tie between Morels and Watermelon.) Say what you want about 

Alison Roman, but her recipe for this salad is amazing. It contains the brilliant line, “Caprese is more about shopping than cooking.” It also contains the following instruction: “Taste and adjust sugar, salt and lemon juice until the fruit tastes perky and bright — like the greatest stone fruit you’ve eaten.”

24: Roasting rhubarb

Behold this unbelievably simple Bon Appetit recipe for rhubarb (i.e., put sugar on it and put it in the oven). it blew my freaking mind. I don’t know why I thought it had to be more complicated than this, but of course it doesn’t! I’m always trying to make rhubarb into a thing when I can just… put it in the oven?! My life has changed. (BA.)

23: Meringue on the stovetop

22: Frequenzine

21: Music League

My partner Luke grew obsessed with this Spotify-based music game this year — at the suggestion of my other partner Bob. (Multiple partners = a lot of fun, and this is proof.) To play, you gather a bunch of your music-loving friends (is anyone not music-loving?) and invite them to a league. Then you come up with five categories (“Road Trip Song,” “Crush Song,” “Instrumentals,” etc.) and everyone in the league chooses one track anonymously to submit for the category. Then, Spotify makes a playlist and you give points to your favorite song choices. Songs are ranked by number of cumulative points, and players gather points over five total rounds. I have now played, and can confirm that this is, indeed, VERY FUN. As well as it is such a terrific way to learn about new music!

20: “Composites” by Thrupence and Josh Hooke

I have very specific taste in music, and no one else has the same taste as I do, including you, and that’s OK. I really only want to listen to non-aggressive piano music. “Oh, Chopin!” You might be thinking. NO. That’s way too aggressive. Almost all classical music is too aggressive. I want music that is just a person noodling around on a piano and maybe there is no direction, even. No one else likes this music, and I have to listen to it alone, but I listen to it alone SO MUCH that EVEN THOUGH I never listen to it in the company of other people, it is STILL by far my most listened-to music on my Spotify Wrapped list. Anyway, this album is a little more put-together than that. If the music I normally listen to is a scruffy keep-him-at-home boyfriend, this album is the one you put a ring on or at least bring home to Mother.

19: All the birds got new names, and so did some birding organizations, including The Chicago Bird Alliance!

18: A 5-year diary

17: This foldable Pendleton picnic blanket

16: “Jury Duty” on Amazon Prime

15: Yoga With Adriene (sorry).

OK, fine, I totally and completely get why white women are not supposed to be allowed to teach yoga. And I will hold that truth, and the fact that there are people to whom it is important, and then acknowledge that this just isn’t my fight. Yoga makes me feel So. Much. Better. in my body, it’s honestly hard to believe. Adriene is the most famous YouTube yoga person, and I (like her millions of other subscribers) really like the little things she says (“If you have trouble loving yourself right now, you’re not alone, but you aren’t unlovable”), and how she emails out Mary Oliver poems. Recently, I was made aware that NOT JUST in January, but all year long, Adriene makes calendars of her videos so people can do yoga EVERY DAY and not have to think about what it is they’re going to do. So much of what I hate about exercise is the decision fatigue. Clicking a link on a pre-made calendar in order to do some mildly-to-moderately challenging strength exercises with my body is kind of a dream come true. Whenever I’m doing yoga regularly, my whole body is in so much less pain overall. And I’m just, like, chiller. Adriene does a 30-day challenge ever January; feel free to jump in and join now, or start from the beginning. I’m loving this one so far.

14: Hemp protein

No, you’re right, these are not hemp protein. But they could go in a smoothie! And really, this item is about smoothie tricks.
This is my favorite protein to add to things because (1) it is readily available; (2) it doesn’t taste like anything; and (3) it makes you poop. I want to pretend like I use this in something other than smoothies, but that would be a lie. There was a period where I stirred proteins into my muffins, but it does change the texture in a way that can’t be denied, and a big part of a muffin is the texture. Here is my smoothie recipe: 1 cup frozen mango, 1 cup frozen berries, 3 cups spinach or kale, one little box of coconut water (I buy the Kirkland brand from Costco, and it’s fairly cost-efficient), another cup or so of water, a huge scoop of hemp protein, and a pinch of sea salt. I read in Bon Appetit that a pinch of sea salt in smoothies is a game-changer, and my friends — IT IS. It makes sense, when you think about it: all sweet things are a little sweeter when you add a smidge of salt. You’d never make salt-free cookies. So don’t make salt-free smoothies! (Sea salt in oatmeal, also clutch.)

13: “Real Self Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness” by Pooja Lakshmin, MD

12: “On Our Best Behavior” by Elise Loehnen

11: “Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult” by Maria Bamford

10: Lindsay Pugh’s 10 Things

9: The “Too Scary Didn’t Watch” podcast

8: Gia Margaret - Romantic Piano

7: “Tenderheart: A Cookbook About Vegetables And Unbreakable Family Bonds” by Hetty Lui McKinnon

6: Sky’s Chili Crisp

My friend Caroline came to our house the other day with the best jar of chili crisp I’ve ever tasted and gave it to us as a gift. Then she said, “Have you ever cooked an egg in chili crisp?” And I had not. She said it was a TikTok trend, but it was really good, and I should try it. Our chickens started laying again recently, and so we have a bunch of eggs; in general, egg tacos is one of the three breakfasts I find acceptable (along with “smoothie” and “oatmeal”), so I decided to try the TikTok idea, and friend: my life has been forever changed. 

Some notes: yes, this works equally well with tofu and JustEgg, and it is also good with a little chopped kimchi or strips of kale stirred in. But if you do eat eggs, that’s the most delicious way to eat these: heat up some chili crisp in a cast iron, crack your eggs in there, cook ‘em to your liking, and transfer them to a plate. Then heat up your corn tortilla in the same pan; no need to add more oil, and no need to clean anything off. I’ve started topping these with a simple slaw (shredded red cabbage, shredded kale, chopped cilantro and green onion, mixed with a tablespoon or so of veganaise, the juice of a lime, and salt) and whatever fresh salsa they have at the market; I also have made them with guacamole, or crushed peanuts on top. Whenever I eat this for breakfast I think, “I CANNOT BELIEVE I GET TO EAT THIS.” And that is what you dream of when it comes to food.

So, yes. This Chicago-made small batch chili crisp is my favorite chili crisp so far — but you can only buy it at this one boutique market in Evanston (or maybe you could message the guy on Instagram?) for the time being. I have also tried a few other chili crisps. The popular Fly By Jing’s chili crisp is great, but you have to like the tongue-numbing Sischuan peppercorns that it uses amply, which my husband does not. If you like the crisp more than the chili, and you’re not into super-spicy foods, may I recommend this chili crisp, which is more of a crunchy topping and is heavy on the crispy garlic. Then there’s the crunchy chili onion at Trader Joe’s which is under $5 and works incredibly well in this recipe. I have not yet made my own chili crisp, but I can see myself working up that. I’ll let you know how it goes.

5: “The Book On Pie” by Erin Jeanne McDowell

4: “Deadloch” on Amazon Prime

3: “Murder on Sex Island” by Jo Firestone, podcasted

Last week,

Myq Kaplan

said that this book was the thing that was “pleasing him” right now, and that felt like a pretty high endorsement.

Jo Firestone

— and I do not say this lightly, or in a way of, like, “oh she says that about a lot of people” — my favorite comedian. When I found out she had written a book that was a murder mystery that took place on a reality dating show that took place on an island, I think I felt a little worried. You don’t want your heroes to fall, and how could this be good?
It isn’t good. It’s perfect. It’s not even out yet (October 17, INDEPENDENT!?!?!? — wait, HOW? Is it possible that no one BEGGED TO GIVE HER SEVEN FIGURES for this!?! This is quite possibly my favorite book of the whole year!?!?!), and I am ready to declare this quite possibly my favorite book of the whole year. Jo Firestone reads the chapters out loud as a podcast and releases them every week, and when I reached the end of what is currently available, and audibly yelped, “NO! NOOOOO! That’s it!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!” Luke said, “Oh yeah, I get that way about my favorite podcasts.” And I was like, “No! You don’t get it! I’M INVESTED IN THE MYSTERY! I WANT TO KNOW WHO DID IT!” And also, weirdly, I’m invested in the romance!? Like, the characters have depth and I care about them!? Also, I have laughed out loud several times and that is so hard to do when you’re writing and reading out loud a book.

I can’t recommend this hard enough. Myq, thank you for pushing me over the edge and convincing me that I wouldn’t be disappointed. Of course I wasn’t. Vulture said it was “so smart at being dumb that it’s brilliant.” THAT IS WRONG. IT IS JUST ONLY BRILLIANT. IT IS MAGNIFICENT. I don’t even care if she can land the plane, I’ve already had such a good time I’m definitely buying this for people for the winter sugar holidays, the end

2: “Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again” by Johann Hari

I want everyone to read it. I am going to buy it for people. It’s going in Solstice stockings.

Here’s what YADAGEJ reader Rowan initially wrote about it:

If you've ever felt guilty for feeling like you're not productive enough or that you're too easily distractable (which I assume is many people) this book is so gratifying to read!! Starts off like a self-help book on how to be more focused and ends up being a manifesto on the systemic reasons why it's much harder to focus now rather than in the past, and how it's not your fault (but rather the fault of things like surveillance capitalism, etc.). Extremely well-researched and much more of a compelling read than a lot of non-fiction books I've read recently.

I thought the whole thing was going to be about PHONES, which, granted, are a critical topic — but I learned a lot in the latter half about ADHD (the author is very, very careful in clearly reporting out all the research, including research that is contradictory, and explaining why it is important that we understand that research is still in early stages) (also, I DEFINITELY thought I knew A LOT about ADHD before reading this book, and there is a lot I misunderstood); trauma; and the importance of play-based learning and intrinsic motivation for children. Teacher / Parent Sophie was very thirsty for these topics.

And then in the end, I felt reinvigorated as an activist, in a way that a book hasn’t made me feel since probably, like… “Animal Liberation”? From 1975? So.

I’m asking you to read this. Please read this. I promise you’ll learn something relevant to your life that you didn’t know before. If I’m wrong, I’ll buy you an ice cream bar OF YOUR CHOICE. Even if it’s really expensive. That’s how certain I am.

1: Marco Polo

This is the app I use most often now, and I use it in lieu of talking on the phone with the people I love the most. It’s just a video message app, but you can leave messages that are hours long, which means that you can have phone calls at whatever pace you want to. My sister and I talk all day long basically every day. She talks to me when she has a free half hour, I talk to her between my classes, and we don’t have to sync our schedules to make it work. I talk, too, to my friends Jess and Ari, and to my boyfriend Bob. As a working parent, this app is truly saving my life, and allowing me to feel close to the people I love the most without having to do any schedule syncing. It’s a godsend. Sometimes I think I would die without it.