Okay OBSESSED with the library bench! Incredible!!!
Also, sharing a bed with one's child is an experience I wish for every parent to have. Will you get good sleep? Likely not. But like you said, those first waking up moments are SO GOOD. To be the first thing your child sees when they wake up, and to see the pure love & joy on that little face when they wake up and see you. Just the best feeling in the world.
Congratulations on being immortalized in stone! What an honor!
Your description of rewriting a better ending to a bad dream is, from what I can gather, the gist of EMDR therapy. You do it with some guidance from the therapist (who I think of as a brain doula, because it's entirely the client who rewrites the story), and some physical sensations that both derail a slide into panic (when talking about traumatic experiences) and reinforce the better reframing of the event. I'm determined to become an EMDR practitioner, and if you'd like to talk about this someday, I would love to explore it more with you. In any case, you are indeed onto something in that rewriting a challenging story in your mind can defang it and make it easier to exist with.
Omg my first nightmares were also about big scary wolves who always found me!
Must be something about the scary wolves in our cultural stories/fairy tales. Or maybe there’s a deeper psychological reason (dream science is fascinating!). Or maybe it’s just a coincidence 🤷🏼♀️
I love this idea of finishing the dream story, thanks T and Sophie for this collaboration 😊🙏🏻
Wonderful piece as always! Some of the wonderfuls:
The phrase "night mirrors" is incredible. So much better than the "real" one.
T saying this is delightful: “You know, because everything ends up OK in the end. So that can’t be the end of the story.”
It very much does evoke the quote often attributed Oscar Wilde that you mentioned and I love:
“Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it's not fine it's not the end.”
Also, I have some thoughts for you regarding this: "I have not read a Stephen King book, and I don’t plan to, because they’re scary."
You certainly don't have to!
BUT... Some of them are specifically NOT scary. Or not in the way I imagined.
I met a guy a year or two ago who LOVES Stephen King, and is most of his way through reading his 70+ books. I asked him for a recommendation of one that is NOT scary, or not AS scary, and he suggested Billy Summer. It's about a hit man. I read it and enjoyed it and I would say it was a fun story that wasn't scary really at all and I think of it fondly and it does not freak me out like the short story "The Jaunt" does that I read when I was like 12.
Also, I haven't read it yet but my "The Shawshank Redemption" is one of my favorite movies and I'm told is based on a Stephen King short story as well.
Of course, you read plenty of things that you enjoy and don't have to read any of these! Just, if you wanted to, you could do it without being scared probably!
Thank you for sharing as always!
And please thank T for me for the idea of giving nightmares (excuse me, night mirrors) happy endings.
The bench, oh my heart!! That is just wonderful in general and all the more wonderful for your place in it.
Now that my kids are 28 & 30, I look back on those times when they were little and they shared my bed with such fondness. I do not think I was all that fond of them at the time, other than I did love having the two people I loved most desperately safely curled next to me. I definitely remember wishing I could just sleep though.
As soon as they were old enough to know their numbers, I put digital clocks in their rooms and made a rule that they were not allowed to leave the room until the first number was a 7. They didn't have to be asleep but they had to stay in their rooms quietly (assuming no emergencies, etc.) (This also worked for us because we home schooled and did not have to go further than upstairs for school days.)
I am so glad that you shared about writing endings to our nightmares. I just had a stressful dream before I read this newsletter and it was one of those mundane communication problems that's easily solved and what a relief to go, Oh I could just ask that person to fix this.
I am looking forward to everyone's salad take. I am in one of those phases where I THINK I want salads when I'm grocery shopping but I get home and none of the combinations I've got are appealing.
my salad take is that you don't need to add oil and sauces and dressings if what you put in the salad is yummy enough! I'm talking fruits (dried and/or fresh), crunchy bits (tortilla chip pieces, seeds, nuts), a variety of textures (tofu, tempeh, bits of bread)... ofc people who LOVE dressing can add it after but I think a salad which surprises you with all its textures and flavours is the best kind of salad 🥗🥗🥗
Also I can’t believe how many of us said Duluth trading company items…guess we love them for summer wear
Salads: I love most salads. But here’s a fast one for potlucks if you don’t have time. Go to Trader Joe’s. Buy a bag of arugula, a container of bruschetta sauce, a package of the pre-cooked lentils, and a container of the seasoned crumbled feta. Mix the first 3 ingredients and serve the feta on the side so that it’s vegan for folx.
1) bench. Amazing. I cried. Is this in Chicago? I'm visiting for the first time in the summer and would love to visit.
2) I feel T - A is in the nightmare stage (almost birthday twins right) and I remember my eldest going through it too. A comes into our bed every morning and I'm not upset by this at all, cause it won't be long and he is the best at morning cuddles. He says "I love you mummy" when I wake up and my heart explodes and I want to save that deep inside
3) sleeping children - my husband checks in on the kids every night before he goes to bed and usually wants me to come along when their faces are at the most peaceful and smushiest. He says I look like that when I'm asleep, finally at complete peace 😂
I have been so slow to comment and now missed my opportunity for summer wardrobe! I’m still thinking about the texture of my life right now? Anyway, I wear sundresses with bike shorts with pockets underneath because I always need pockets. And sundresses rarely have them.
I am SO impressed that T thought of this on her own!! This is absolutely a technique that I use for my kids and my own nightmares. I also use this for any book I don’t like the ending of! I went to see Medea at the opera, and while it LOOKS like she murdered her children and herself at the temple at the end, that’s just to get Jason off her back. He would never let her alone if he knew the kids were out there. She set fire to the temple so no one would realize there aren’t bodies. Then Medea took her kids and her handmaiden who is CLEARLY in love with her and they all snuck off to Lesbos where they happily lived long sapphic lives together.
My salad hot take is salads in Mason Jars. Perfect for packing leftovers as every ingredient is just how you want it.
Also I’m obsessed with farmers fridge. It’s the ultimate travel food for me. I buy happy meals for my children and then a salad in a jar is definitely the meal that will make me happiest on a plane or a train.
Okay OBSESSED with the library bench! Incredible!!!
Also, sharing a bed with one's child is an experience I wish for every parent to have. Will you get good sleep? Likely not. But like you said, those first waking up moments are SO GOOD. To be the first thing your child sees when they wake up, and to see the pure love & joy on that little face when they wake up and see you. Just the best feeling in the world.
Congratulations on being immortalized in stone! What an honor!
Your description of rewriting a better ending to a bad dream is, from what I can gather, the gist of EMDR therapy. You do it with some guidance from the therapist (who I think of as a brain doula, because it's entirely the client who rewrites the story), and some physical sensations that both derail a slide into panic (when talking about traumatic experiences) and reinforce the better reframing of the event. I'm determined to become an EMDR practitioner, and if you'd like to talk about this someday, I would love to explore it more with you. In any case, you are indeed onto something in that rewriting a challenging story in your mind can defang it and make it easier to exist with.
Omg my first nightmares were also about big scary wolves who always found me!
Must be something about the scary wolves in our cultural stories/fairy tales. Or maybe there’s a deeper psychological reason (dream science is fascinating!). Or maybe it’s just a coincidence 🤷🏼♀️
I love this idea of finishing the dream story, thanks T and Sophie for this collaboration 😊🙏🏻
I will defend the hot salad
I love the bench - congratulations!
Dear Sophie,
Wonderful piece as always! Some of the wonderfuls:
The phrase "night mirrors" is incredible. So much better than the "real" one.
T saying this is delightful: “You know, because everything ends up OK in the end. So that can’t be the end of the story.”
It very much does evoke the quote often attributed Oscar Wilde that you mentioned and I love:
“Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it's not fine it's not the end.”
Also, I have some thoughts for you regarding this: "I have not read a Stephen King book, and I don’t plan to, because they’re scary."
You certainly don't have to!
BUT... Some of them are specifically NOT scary. Or not in the way I imagined.
I met a guy a year or two ago who LOVES Stephen King, and is most of his way through reading his 70+ books. I asked him for a recommendation of one that is NOT scary, or not AS scary, and he suggested Billy Summer. It's about a hit man. I read it and enjoyed it and I would say it was a fun story that wasn't scary really at all and I think of it fondly and it does not freak me out like the short story "The Jaunt" does that I read when I was like 12.
Also, I haven't read it yet but my "The Shawshank Redemption" is one of my favorite movies and I'm told is based on a Stephen King short story as well.
Of course, you read plenty of things that you enjoy and don't have to read any of these! Just, if you wanted to, you could do it without being scared probably!
Thank you for sharing as always!
And please thank T for me for the idea of giving nightmares (excuse me, night mirrors) happy endings.
Love
Myq
The bench, oh my heart!! That is just wonderful in general and all the more wonderful for your place in it.
Now that my kids are 28 & 30, I look back on those times when they were little and they shared my bed with such fondness. I do not think I was all that fond of them at the time, other than I did love having the two people I loved most desperately safely curled next to me. I definitely remember wishing I could just sleep though.
As soon as they were old enough to know their numbers, I put digital clocks in their rooms and made a rule that they were not allowed to leave the room until the first number was a 7. They didn't have to be asleep but they had to stay in their rooms quietly (assuming no emergencies, etc.) (This also worked for us because we home schooled and did not have to go further than upstairs for school days.)
I am so glad that you shared about writing endings to our nightmares. I just had a stressful dream before I read this newsletter and it was one of those mundane communication problems that's easily solved and what a relief to go, Oh I could just ask that person to fix this.
I am looking forward to everyone's salad take. I am in one of those phases where I THINK I want salads when I'm grocery shopping but I get home and none of the combinations I've got are appealing.
I love the library bench so much!!! The next time I get to be in Chicago, I have to see it. It’d be fun to meet up IRL, too!!
my salad take is that you don't need to add oil and sauces and dressings if what you put in the salad is yummy enough! I'm talking fruits (dried and/or fresh), crunchy bits (tortilla chip pieces, seeds, nuts), a variety of textures (tofu, tempeh, bits of bread)... ofc people who LOVE dressing can add it after but I think a salad which surprises you with all its textures and flavours is the best kind of salad 🥗🥗🥗
Wow! The bench!
Also I can’t believe how many of us said Duluth trading company items…guess we love them for summer wear
Salads: I love most salads. But here’s a fast one for potlucks if you don’t have time. Go to Trader Joe’s. Buy a bag of arugula, a container of bruschetta sauce, a package of the pre-cooked lentils, and a container of the seasoned crumbled feta. Mix the first 3 ingredients and serve the feta on the side so that it’s vegan for folx.
Omg
1) bench. Amazing. I cried. Is this in Chicago? I'm visiting for the first time in the summer and would love to visit.
2) I feel T - A is in the nightmare stage (almost birthday twins right) and I remember my eldest going through it too. A comes into our bed every morning and I'm not upset by this at all, cause it won't be long and he is the best at morning cuddles. He says "I love you mummy" when I wake up and my heart explodes and I want to save that deep inside
3) sleeping children - my husband checks in on the kids every night before he goes to bed and usually wants me to come along when their faces are at the most peaceful and smushiest. He says I look like that when I'm asleep, finally at complete peace 😂
4) keyboard is amazing, omg. I want one.
I have been so slow to comment and now missed my opportunity for summer wardrobe! I’m still thinking about the texture of my life right now? Anyway, I wear sundresses with bike shorts with pockets underneath because I always need pockets. And sundresses rarely have them.
I am SO impressed that T thought of this on her own!! This is absolutely a technique that I use for my kids and my own nightmares. I also use this for any book I don’t like the ending of! I went to see Medea at the opera, and while it LOOKS like she murdered her children and herself at the temple at the end, that’s just to get Jason off her back. He would never let her alone if he knew the kids were out there. She set fire to the temple so no one would realize there aren’t bodies. Then Medea took her kids and her handmaiden who is CLEARLY in love with her and they all snuck off to Lesbos where they happily lived long sapphic lives together.
My salad hot take is salads in Mason Jars. Perfect for packing leftovers as every ingredient is just how you want it.
Also I’m obsessed with farmers fridge. It’s the ultimate travel food for me. I buy happy meals for my children and then a salad in a jar is definitely the meal that will make me happiest on a plane or a train.
I was JUST at the library yesterday and I missed the bench! I need to go back with my kids!! How long will it be there?
That bench is EPIC!!!!!