THIS: "I believe that there’s another possible future for humanity, where there are more people doing fewer things; where the expectations we currently hold for individuals become expectations for whole groups, collectives, or organizations." Love it.
However, I do find that even at an individual level (let alone societal level), it's nearly impossible to imagine. Do *less*? A *lot* less? No, no...I wouldn't want to waste my life being unproductive.
It's crazy how hard people with a lot of resources work, and it seems that culturally we are unable or unwilling to pump the breaks. I'm curious how this shift might begin.
Oh dear. Yes. I remember those impossible days. In the middle of them, it was so hard that I don't think I realized how bad it was. But looking back, it was stupendously awful. So little sleep. Running on empty. From this vantage point, age 9 is a WORLD of difference from anything under 5. It does get easier. Sophie, I'm so sorry that T has been sick. I hope she feels better soon. Thank you for putting words to what so many parents feel.
I too wish there were more community, more people pitching in all the time. I truly think we'd all be happier that way, more connected. I feel like more people are ready for a new version of local community — it could be a revolution. We almost need a term and an example, new vocabulary, different tools, and of course much more societal built-in support for families (say, free, high-quality universal daycare with real wages for caregivers, like other countries have!). We don't have the same community structures as we did decades ago, but we have other things, like technology. There are apps for hailing cars driven by strangers, why not apps where people can connect and support each other — "is anyone sleepless who can help come over and hold the baby for a while"? The "joke" about single people getting connected with exhausted families is a huge missed opportunity! Whew. I apparently have a lot of feelings about this. I really hope T feels better soon. You are doing a GREAT job with this impossible scenario. ❤️
I LOVED this article! I am an almost college grad concluding frequently that a lot of capital A Adulthood endeavors are actually impossible without a community of supporters. The idea that we're meant to be raising kids in a community is an important one to me as someone who does not want kids but very much wants to be a parent-adjacent adult for children of my neighbors and friends. And there are places where raising kids in community exists! For my undergrad thesis I studied Danish cohousing communities, which are groups of 10-20 houses designed both physically and socially for stronger community connections. The idea is that any kid can knock on any door for help, and that social support is more readily available than a traditional neighborhood. Interestingly, a 1960s article that translates to "Children Should Have One Hundred Parents" brought up this idea and started the cohousing movement in Denmark. The whole point was instead of asking one or two parents for everything a kid needs, those needs should be distributed to 100 people. The concept has brought me a lot of hope!
Thanks for a great article Sophie and feel better soon T!
This hits home for me for sure, we have a 9 month old and cannot get healthy (stomach flu right after Covid was just the recent double whammy but it all kind of blends together). Growing up I used to judge people who moved back home or never left, but now I see why! Living here with no family around is so hard.
that rabbit cartoon is wonderful. well worth the two year wait!
if i ever have spare time that i can box up and send your way, i'll do it!
(once i wrote a joke that goes something like "in my spare time, i'm working on building a 4D printer that prints more spare time," so if that alchemizes into reality, i'll let you know!)
Yeah, this whole issue spoke to me. Even adults have been sick all winter. I hope this is not the new winter of our discontents. And I love the New Yorker cartoon. At first I thought, yeah winter, then I got it. All those carrots. Thanks Sophie.
There Should Be Less, and There Should Be More.
Sophie love the cartoon ❤️
THIS: "I believe that there’s another possible future for humanity, where there are more people doing fewer things; where the expectations we currently hold for individuals become expectations for whole groups, collectives, or organizations." Love it.
However, I do find that even at an individual level (let alone societal level), it's nearly impossible to imagine. Do *less*? A *lot* less? No, no...I wouldn't want to waste my life being unproductive.
It's crazy how hard people with a lot of resources work, and it seems that culturally we are unable or unwilling to pump the breaks. I'm curious how this shift might begin.
As someone who is not a parent, this is not something I have thought deeply about. Thank you for expanding my perspective.
Oh dear. Yes. I remember those impossible days. In the middle of them, it was so hard that I don't think I realized how bad it was. But looking back, it was stupendously awful. So little sleep. Running on empty. From this vantage point, age 9 is a WORLD of difference from anything under 5. It does get easier. Sophie, I'm so sorry that T has been sick. I hope she feels better soon. Thank you for putting words to what so many parents feel.
I too wish there were more community, more people pitching in all the time. I truly think we'd all be happier that way, more connected. I feel like more people are ready for a new version of local community — it could be a revolution. We almost need a term and an example, new vocabulary, different tools, and of course much more societal built-in support for families (say, free, high-quality universal daycare with real wages for caregivers, like other countries have!). We don't have the same community structures as we did decades ago, but we have other things, like technology. There are apps for hailing cars driven by strangers, why not apps where people can connect and support each other — "is anyone sleepless who can help come over and hold the baby for a while"? The "joke" about single people getting connected with exhausted families is a huge missed opportunity! Whew. I apparently have a lot of feelings about this. I really hope T feels better soon. You are doing a GREAT job with this impossible scenario. ❤️
Lots for me to reflect about regarding community and possibility. Thank you.
Also, I'm curious whether you meant to say S. Bear Bernstein or S. Bear Bergman?
I LOVED this article! I am an almost college grad concluding frequently that a lot of capital A Adulthood endeavors are actually impossible without a community of supporters. The idea that we're meant to be raising kids in a community is an important one to me as someone who does not want kids but very much wants to be a parent-adjacent adult for children of my neighbors and friends. And there are places where raising kids in community exists! For my undergrad thesis I studied Danish cohousing communities, which are groups of 10-20 houses designed both physically and socially for stronger community connections. The idea is that any kid can knock on any door for help, and that social support is more readily available than a traditional neighborhood. Interestingly, a 1960s article that translates to "Children Should Have One Hundred Parents" brought up this idea and started the cohousing movement in Denmark. The whole point was instead of asking one or two parents for everything a kid needs, those needs should be distributed to 100 people. The concept has brought me a lot of hope!
Thanks for a great article Sophie and feel better soon T!
There should be less to do and more people to do it. Chorus of a thousand amens
good post - REALLY good cartoon.
I needed this! Thank you!
This hits home for me for sure, we have a 9 month old and cannot get healthy (stomach flu right after Covid was just the recent double whammy but it all kind of blends together). Growing up I used to judge people who moved back home or never left, but now I see why! Living here with no family around is so hard.
This. All of it. THANK YOU.
I read Jessi Klein’s book a month ago and I can’t stop opening it back up and re-reading it.
dear sophie,
thank you for sharing all of this.
that rabbit cartoon is wonderful. well worth the two year wait!
if i ever have spare time that i can box up and send your way, i'll do it!
(once i wrote a joke that goes something like "in my spare time, i'm working on building a 4D printer that prints more spare time," so if that alchemizes into reality, i'll let you know!)
love,
myq
Yeah, this whole issue spoke to me. Even adults have been sick all winter. I hope this is not the new winter of our discontents. And I love the New Yorker cartoon. At first I thought, yeah winter, then I got it. All those carrots. Thanks Sophie.