You are just one animal.

Are you asking yourself to be a whole ecosystem?

Hi there! This is the first issue of “You Are Doing A Good Enough Job.” Because it is the very first time we’re doing this, you should know: the format of this newsletter will likely always go the way this one goes.

First, I’ll write you a letter. The letter will secretly be the kind of letter I might need to receive, because I spend so much of my precious time and energy beating myself up. I’ll write it to you, and if you need someone to remind you that, for the love of god, the very fact that you are surviving, that you are reading, that you are breathing, is GOOD ENOUGH, you can read this short letter and be reminded of that. The letter will always be a little bit specific, but not TOO specific. The letter will probably not apply to you if you are

• Not human.

• Fairly arrogant, without a lick of self-criticism.

• Currently in space.

Otherwise, the letter will be for you.

Next, I’ll suggest one to three things for you to put on your to-do list sometime this week. This is applicable to the kind of person who HAS a to-do list. These things will be whimsical, but they should be fairly easy to achieve.

Third, I’ll drop a drawing. It will be a drawing that I have done at some point in my life on earth. This is really just to add visual interest to the newsletter.

There will be a single paragraph about the number one thing I am thinking about that week. You guys should know: as I write THIS email, I’m 27 weeks pregnant, and pregnancy is the main thing I think about. I thought about making a newsletter just about pregnancy, but let’s be real: no one wants to read that. That’s what journals are for. However, you’re probably going to get a paragraph about a pregnancy-related thing until Halloween. Then there’s a good change you’ll get a paragraph about a baby-related thing. You can skip that, you guys. It’s for me, and this newsletter is free.

Extras will be links to things I’ve been reading, writing, cooking, watching, or interested in. All the newsletters I subscribe to have this part and I LOVE IT. I hope you will love it too.

This italics section at the top will only exist in this, the first-ever newsletter issue. I’m grateful you’re here, and I love you.

A note for you, if you’re having a bad day.

Hi Pal,

It can be hard to remember sometimes that you are only one animal. You’re not the whole species; you’re not responsible for all the other animals; you’re just one animal, and your only actual job is to stay alive. Stay alive, and I would add, be gentle to other humans.

Other animals seem to be good at knowing this about themselves. Cats sleep when they feel like sleeping; they awkwardly mewl for food when they feel like eating; they lie down on your computer keyboard when you’re typing and they feel like being a dick. They follow impulses, and they don’t experience guilt when they fuck up. (And they DO fuck up, all the time. They destroy couches and eat too much and throw up and kill rare birds and get stuck in the attic.) To be fair, cats are not always gentle; they don’t do a whole lot to help other cats, so far as I can tell. And, honestly, that’s fine. If you need to spend a few days behaving like a cat, it might be great for you. Go for it.

Humans aren’t cats (nor are we, unfortunately, lyrebirds or bumblebees or octopus [so hot right now!]). But humans are animals all the same — animals with pesky egos that make us believe that we are somehow more. Our choices are MONUMENTAL! Everything we do is IMPORTANT! When we fuck up, THE WORLD IS ENDING. OTHER HUMANS ARE PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT US AND WORRIED ABOUT US AND WE ARE RUINING THE WHOLE OF THE UNIVERSE BY BEING BAD HUMANS. At least, those things can feel true. In fact, Pal, I can promise you with my whole heart that people care about what you do waaaaaay less than you think they do. Let that be a relief. If you are going to eat a large pizza all by yourself, there is a pretty good chance that no one will care. (Unless you promised to share. All animals are always necessarily thinking about themselves, so if they anticipated pizza, and you took that from them… you can’t blame them for caring. But also, they’re gonna get over it.)

You are only one animal. On another day, when you’re feeling better, you can try to be more than that. But for today: Are you doing the things you need to do to stay alive? That’s good enough.

I hope this helps. If you want three million more thoughts about other animals, by the way, let me know. I’m happy to send them to distract you. Sometimes you are allowed to get distracted! You won’t feel the way you feel right now forever.

Love Always,

Sophie

Add this to your to-do list.

• Pull a book off your shelf that you feel attracted to. Turn to a page in the middle of the book and read some random sentences. Keep reading until a sentence or a paragraph pleases you. Relish the feeling of being pleased.

• Eat something that normally takes you one bite in THREE bites.

A drawing.

This is someone’s cat.

What’s on my mind this week.

Feet. Four weeks ago, my feet swelled up for the first time. Two days later, they were still swollen, and also they hurt. And none of my shoes fit! My carefully curated shoes. I work so hard to have exactly the right shoes at all times, and none of them fit anymore. I had to go to the Crocs store (which, side note, WAS BUMPING. Crocs are suddenly A Very Significant Cultural Thing. I read this in a magazine, but had to see it to believe it.) and none of the shoes there fit me either, but I shoved my feet into a pair of yellow sandals a full size and a half bigger than I normally wear. Since then, I’ve tried compression socks, drinking tons of water, putting my feet above my head, complaining to my doctor, complaining to my feet, and hitting my feet with pumice stones (yes, hitting) to try to shrink them back down. Nothing has worked. The Internet says, “Hahaha, yes, women get pregnant feet and ankles, but Sophie, you are a full two months early on this symptom, are you sure you’re not MAKING IT UP!?” And I’m like, “OK, yes, Internet, I must be FAKING IT that my SHOES DON’T FIT.” On the other hand, I’m incredibly susceptible to being gaslit, so I have also shouted at my feet, “Excuse me, YOU CAN’T actually be TWO SIZES LARGER, did you know that?” They don’t care. I want to add that I have always really cared about feet looking bony-ish and dainty, and I have written whole essays about that. So this feels like a particularly unfair pregnancy curse, designed specifically to crush me.

Extras.

• I’ve been watching a lot of videos where someone buys the same cake from two different bakeries — one with a one-star customer review rating and the other with a five-star customer review rating. This has to do with a love of looking at cakes that I would never be able to afford.

• This article about G.M.O.s from The New York Times Magazine both taught me about science and also described interesting vegetables. 11/10.

• I bought peaches from the Farmer’s Market last week, and Luke (my husband) grilled me some of them. My “glucose levels are high” (I have been encouraged not to write “I FAILED THE GLUCOSE TEST AND AM FAILING MY FUTURE BABY” by people in my life who don’t want me to have multiple panic attacks regarding pregnancy), so I have been avoiding processed sugar, and you guys: GRILLED PEACHES.

• This EP by Jaila Kai is good Eating Salad While Wearing Sunglasses music.

• The artist Emily Bernstein has been posting reliably excellent content on Instagram all summer long and I am Here. For. It.