100 Things

A countdown of my favorite things to read, do, buy, think about, listen to, consider, eat, cook, create, smell, and wrangle in 2022.

Hello!

I’d intended for this list to come out on Friday, because I thought it would not be that hard to make. After all, I just had to go through all my weekly lists of favorite things, choose the best of the best things, and copy + paste them, and then rank them. As I write that out, I see how obvious it is that that was going to take me the hours upon hours that it took. But here it is! And it’s not behind a paywall! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Enjoy!

Some notes:

• I often address “the Erins” in here. That’s the name that was chosen (by the universe) for this newsletter’s paid subscribers.

• On many of these, I’ve provided edits, made just this week, so you know how I feel about the thing I wrote about 12 months ago NOW. Those are clearly marked at the bottom of the items with the word, “EDIT.”

• I have a daughter whom I’ll call T who was born in November 2021.

• These are the things that were most impactful to me THIS YEAR. So yes, this year I recommended goldfinches, blueberries, and scissors. But I’ve always loved those things; they weren’t particularly special THIS year.

• For the first half of the year, I kept my favorite things in a little, short bullet-pointed list at the bottom of each email, and it was labeled “Extras.” In the second half of the year, I moved that list behind a paywall, and I got a lot wordier. But the items on this list are ranked by impact, not chronology. So you’ll notice a lot of style inconsistency here. You’ll have to get over that.

• I selected these from 459 total items.

• Luke is my husband’s name, and Kat is my girlfriend’s name, and Alexis is my sister’s name, Bethany is my housemate-bff’s name. You might want to know those things, and you might not care.

It was easier to not include pictures. So you don’t get pictures. Except this one.

100. Luke and I re-watched “You’ve Got Mail” and went to see the musical adaptation of “Moulin Rouge,” and we have come to this important conclusion: Holy shit, not only did 1999-2001 Us ACCEPT totally loathsome, creepy, terrible masculine love interests, WE WERE ALL WILLING TO ACT LIKE WE LIKED THEM! Both stories are a good cultural study into what was so recently so acceptable in terms of toxic masculinity. (Lying! Stalking?! Manipulating!?!? Slut-shaming!?!?!?! Threatening suicide because you don’t get your way!???!?!?!!??!)

EDIT: I think the thing I am recommending here is hating romantic comedies. For the record, we recently watched “Sleepless In Seattle” and it is JUST RIDICULOUS. 

99. Luke and I are LOVING the new season of “Kids In The Hall.” It is the same as it was. It has not changed. I still find every one of these men attractive.

EDIT: We didn’t actually finish this. It got sort of really dark, and not fun to watch anymore. It probably kept on being smart, but it was no longer fun. 

98. I also really love Jami Attenberg’s Substack, and am considering participating in her “1,000 words of summer” project, which begins this week!

97. Please enjoy this timeless and wonderful clip of Nichols and May, the first improv duo that made people go, “WAIT BUT HOW DID THEY DO THAT.”

96. I found out that Molly Shannon’s history of masturbation is the same as mine in this “Armchair Expert” episode, and I liked that.

95. File under: thank you Kat! I’m hopelessly behind on reading and falling in love with this article about the Shedd Aquarium’s lumpsucker fish (it’s called “The world feels angry and chaotic. So let’s all take a minute to stare at this weird fish.”) You can’t get at it without facing a paywall from USA Today, but it seems like you you CAN get it by subscribing to the Shedd Aquarium newsletter.

94. “Flowepaedia.” I keep this book behind my desk for any time I’m writing something and need plant symbolism. Which SHOULD be EVERY DAY. This is basically a compendium of all the flowers and all the things they could possibly mean, organized in every way imaginable. It’s been a valuable $8 for me; I use it multiple times per week. (I think you could also use it if you, like, picked some astilbe to give to your friend, and wanted to know what it symbolized so you could say, “I picked this for you because you’ve been so patient with me lately, and it represents patience.” Then your gift could be more meaningful.)

93. I like white-out that comes in a little marker and the white-out is actually tape.

92. This list of individual birds on Wikipedia. I was alerted to this thanks to Today in Tabs. Please kindly go to the linked list, and look up Andy, the goose. You’re welcome.

91. Service berries. This week, Luke and I made a (not really photographable) scrap tart with black raspberries and gooseberries from our neighbor’s yard, and service berries from all over the neighborhood. I mentioned it in the “Invitation” email from this week, and reader Isabella asked one of my favorite questions for a person to ask, which is, what is a service berry? Alexis Nikole Nelson (Black Forager) explains this better than I can, so here’s that video. We planted a service berry tree for T just before she was born, since they’re a native plant that birds love and are also jaw-droppingly delicious. If you live in planting zones 4 to 9, you can find a service berry tree TODAY! The season is short and sweet, so leave the house right now and have a service berry.

90. I have one food word for you: Tteokbokki. If you aren’t acquainted, GET ACQUAINTED.

89. I just found out MMMBop is a unit of time. (It does not mean “fruity duty.”)

88. Jessica Campbell’s “Rave” recently came out, too, and is INCREDIBLE. A documentary about queerness, faith, and more. Jessica is one of the funniest writers of our time, and one of my favorite artists, too.

87. I also watched the Netflix documentary about Abercrombie and Fitch and felt that nothing was new information, but it was fun to watch and remember the early 2000s. (And if you are unaware that A&F had fucked-up hiring and firing practices based on whiteness and hotness, then this documentary might have new information for you!)

86. Luke and I watched “Broadcast News” finally, and it was weird. Like, people interacted in a way that felt weird. Did people REALLY interact like that at some point? It is hard to say. But it is a pretty good movie with some genuine surprises, and it was exhaustively researched. (It’s streaming on HBO Max.)

EDIT: I am putting this on the list because I ended up thinking about it so much after we watched it. It really has a way of sticking with you. 

85. “Either/Or” by Elif Batuman. I can’t believe it has taken me so long to start reading “Either/Or,” the sequel to “The Idiot” (which is one of my favorite books ever of all time), but I had coffee with my internet crush Lindsay Pugh last weekend and she mentioned that this book is even better than the original. Let me just say that it truly is a sequel, and you should read the first one first; but Lindsay was right and this is SO GOOD. I can’t believe we all get to live during a time that Elif Batuman is writing books. That just feels so fucking fortunate that I don’t know what to do with myself.

EDIT: I found Lindsay Pugh’s blog last year, so it couldn’t make this year, but Lindsay Pugh herself would make this list, and she would be in the Top Ten. It is meaningful to me to meet people from the internet in this old-fashioned kind of way. This Substack has been a source of that for me. And more on that later. 

84. Last week someone emailed me to say that they liked Petey and that I could recommend some more music. HAPPILY.

EDIT: This year, my Spotify Wrapped was so embarrassing. It was just Petey, and then the dismal, spare piano songs I like to write to, and then the one song from “Hamilton” that makes my daughter stop crying. I’ll do better next year. 

• If you don’t have Indigo De Souza on heavy rotation yet, get on that.

• “Everything Matters” by AURORA.

• I recently discovered “Reincarnation” performed by by Roger Miller and am alllll about it.

• “Galveston” by Why Bonnie.

• Janis Ian is an amazing genius, and “Better Times Will Come” is eerily prescient.

83. Lizzo’s “Good As Hell” has TWO music videos, and if you haven’t watched the update, get on it. I also thought Lizzo’s SNL episode was charming and strong.

82. I brought these accidentally vegan Entenmann’s individually wrapped snack fruit pies to school to give to the kids to celebrate my birthday and they were a HIT. Everyone liked them, and I liked them, and wow, what a treat.

81. Ben Savage has the best Instagram, the end.

80. OH. Gwen Stefani has a makeup line, and it’s just like… red lipsticks and black eyeliners and I’m not going to pretend I haven’t already bought it. I bought it instantly. I love Gwen Stefani forever, and I forgive her for being bewitched by that brainwashing so-and-so Rake Smellton.

EDIT: I bought an eyeliner and two lipsticks. Initially, I was obsessed with the lipsticks, but one fell apart in my bag and the other one got a kind of weird smell? That said, the color profile was PERFECT and the staying power was really great. I learned a trick in some beauty magazine this year, which is: put your red lipstick on, wear it for 10 minutes, and then try to totally remove it with a soft cloth. You’ll get a perfect stain. This is the best lipstick for that. 

79. Are you guys really loving the Wet Leg album? I think that I definitely am, definitely. I like this song the best.

78. I will take a moment now to recommend everything by Lynda Barry, but specifically “Making Comics,” which is a really fun book that everyone can and should buy and use.

77. I DEVOURED W. Kamau Bell’s “We Need To Talk About Cosby” docuseries. I LOVED it. I learned a lot, and appreciated the questions it brought up. Watch the trailer, and if you like the trailer, you won’t be disappointed. But be warned: it’s pretty disturbing, and if you’re triggered by rape, skip it.

76. I also cried twice AND LAUGHED TWICE (!!!) during the first episode alone of Bridget Everett’s new show, “Somebody Somewhere.” I’ve always been a huge fan; it’s about G-D time she got a show.

EDIT: This was Luke’s favorite show of last year, and he still won’t stop talking about it. 

75.  This very very fun Tinder article in New York Magazine. This is a great article written by Allison P. Davis, who has been on Tinder for about a decade and has written a wonderfully fun exposé on her experience, as well as many many other people’s experiences. I liked the way this article was laid out in the magazine, because it was a whole fun spread with lots of little articles-within-articles; but this piece itself is a blast to read. Here is an excerpt that made me LOL:

"Then I got caught talking to a friend of a friend — this scumbaggy guy with a tiny little mullet and a tiny little earring. Unfortunately, against reason, I realized I wanted to fuck him so badly I let him explain the nuances of American Sign Language to me (he does not know ASL)."

74. Using a deck of cards for something else. I learned this trick from Lynda Barry’s book “Making Comics” (which Vox describes as “a cookbook for people afraid to draw”). It kind of blew my mind when she suggested that you could use a deck of cards — just a regular old deck of cards!!! - to randomize things. I LOVE randomizing things. You can make a deck for: chores, activity prompts, writing exercises — anything you want to leave up to the universe. 

73. “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jenette McCurdy. Here is yet ANOTHER example of jealousy for those who haven’t yet. This very sad memoir is the hot new thing on the block, so I imagine you’ve heard about it, and maybe you’re wondering if you should read it. The answer is YES, if you like learning about behind-the-scenes Hollywood stuff, and if you are not easily triggered by all the big triggers (sexual assault, child abuse, OCD, etc.). Maybe you’re thinking, “This does not sound like a fun book, Sophie.” And you’re right; this one isn’t fun, per se (although it is quite, quite often funNY), but it is the definition of un-put-down-able. I read it in two days. I could not stop reading it. I darted off to the bathroom to read it. I woke up in the middle of the night needing to read it. I’m not sure that this book will teach you anything (except about what it’s like to be a child actor, which is not nothing; and it has a refreshing take on what it feels like to have OCD), but it’s such a gift to be compulsively reading something without ever wanting to stop. I would liken it to the experience of reading “Room.” Except at the end of it you’re like, “FUCKING GOOD FOR HER,” and not, “That was a depressing fictionalization, but I read it very fast.”

72. Chatbooks. It is with a deep sigh that I (sheepishly) admit that I’m pleased with this Instagram-advertised product, and now I emerge from behind my pall of light embarrassment to endorse it. (“Endorse” makes it seem like I am famous enough that they are sponsoring me. They are not. No one has ever sponsored me, except for you.) You choose 30 photos you took in the last month, and they print them for you in a little square book for $5 (including shipping). Since T was born, I’ve taken too many pictures, and I don’t know what to keep and what to delete, because she is only going to be a baby THIS ONE TIME. My phone is overwhelmed. I find the ritual of choosing the best 30 each month to be both soothing and relieving. And then I get the little book in the mail, and Luke and I sit in the bed and look at the pictures and smile and remember how nice the month was with this small growing creature, and then I put the little book on the shelf, where it looks nice and neat, and promises to prove to T that we were, indeed, obsessed with her when she was a baby. (This was important to me in childhood, looking back through my parents’ photo albums.)

EDIT: The price has gone up to $7 a month since I wrote this, but I stick by the claim that this is a great ritual and a perfectly good product. 

71. My friend and old college roommate Sarah W. Jaffe wrote an amazing book that came out this week called “Wanting What’s Best: Parenting, Privilege, and Building A Just World.” It was exactly the book I most needed, and I think everyone who is interested in being a parent should read it, too. I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t mean it: this is a thoughtful and critical book for parents who find themselves wondering what they can do to sow justice in their larger communities while also parenting their children. A++++++.

70. I think I forgot to tell you that Luke and I went to see “Six” (because we have season tickets to Broadway, because that is the thing we waste our money on — but before you judge us, know that WE DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL, so this is about the same price as going to bars regularly for a year), and it was the most fun time I have had going to see a Broadway. (And I have seen a lot.) It’s not, like, good; but it’s FUN and empowering and FUN and it makes you cry and it kind of has all the things you want. It’s fun. Don’t sleep on “Six.”

EDIT: We discontinued our Broadway subscription because it’s just too hard with a baby. Maybe someday again. 

69. I am thinking a lot about insects. Please check out the Instagram page of @arthropodarchives.

68. And then I also watched John Early’s episode of “The Characters” and was literally laughing out loud in my bed. Luke was like, “Stop doing that.”

67.  “Evil.” I generally dislike horror and horror-adjacent movies and television, but I LOVE the husband-and-wife writing team Richard and Michelle King (of “The Good Wife”). “Evil” is their latest venture, and it’s great. It’s a little bit campy, a little bit scary, and mostly philosophical. Plot-wise, there are a lot of loose ends, which is their style. They write episodes quickly, and shit gets dropped. I am OK with that, because the questions that this show asks — about race, gender, love, sex, family, etc. — are so interesting and fun to watch. I don’t have enough friends who have watched “Evil,” and I can’t say why that is. I feel like it is because it’s such a niche little genre of feminist / religious / sacrilegious horror? There is one episode in season one that I would avoid if I had to live my life again (season 1, episode 4 — do a “Does The Dog Die” search for your own triggers; mine are baby-related), but otherwise, it’s great.

66. A vegan queso recipe I fell in love with this week via PlantYou: one cup of overnight-soaked cashews, one cup of chunky salsa, some turmeric, a red bell pepper, some salt, in a blender.

EDIT: Another version of this subs the salsa for one chipotle pepper in adobo sauce. Also great. 

65. Britchida on Instagram and elsewhere. Brit is an amazing abstract artist whose work is so apt at exploring trauma responses, emotions, relationships, and more. I have been obsessed with them for a long time and I can’t believe I haven’t told you about them sooner.

64. A desk that folds up and disappears. Our house has a nook. Former roommates have used the nook for a piano space, and then for a workout space with an exercise bike. It’s a really good size for a one-person activity. I wanted a writing desk, but it’s a tiny bit small for a full-on DESK. Then I saw one of these on Facebook Marketplace and thought it was really pretty and decided I wanted it. I am writing on it right now and it’s just so terrific. A perfect window to look out at the trees and the people walking their dogs. And when we have visitors and they want to make art while looking out a window, this will be here! And when you’re done with it, you just fold it up, and then that’s that. There are tons of models of these; new, this one seems to run about $250. Here’s a link.

EDIT: I have since moved my sewing machine to this desk, but have still not used the sewing machine. Maybe this week.

63. I just started my seeds (yes I am late) inside, with an EPIC order from the Seed Savers Exchange — which is a pretty cool organization.

62. My tiny bouquets. The orange cosmos in my yard got out of control. They started blocking all the sun from the dahlias, who shrank back, and the rhubarb, which browned and wilted. As much as this ecstatic ferocity was thrilling, I felt that, to be fair to the other plants, I had to reign it in. So I cut the cosmos down considerably, and then decided that I could make a bouquet, adding the black eyed Susans and cup-flowers that currently proliferate my backyard. I ended up cutting a BUNCH of flowers, and then I found that I had too many flowers. Luckily, my friend Caroline had given me some undesignated glass bottles from a craft store, and she’d suggested “tiny bouquets” of “herbs or sprigs.” I’ve never kept flowers on my desk because it’s too crowded here, but the tiny bouquet really fit nicely. I liked looking at it so much that I started swapping in new blooms every few days. This is a five-minute task that I can do when I need to walk outside; I use these very small scissors that fit in my pocket and don’t poke me and look sort of like a bird. I think I’ll keep this going as long as anything green remains — which might be all year, as we planted a small pine tree recently.

61. The easiest and best fake taco meat. This feels too easy, but it isn’t: 2 cups of mushrooms + 2/3 cups of walnuts + cumin, chili, salt, chopped in a food processor and fried for 5 minutes on the stove with some onions and garlic. Luke: “This is the best fake meat you’ve ever made. HOW did you make it?” I both love and hate that it takes ten minutes total.

60. I’m having to watch more “Sesame Street” videos than I thought I ever would. But on the plus-side, I got to see this incredible Janelle Monae song, which is perfect. 

ANOTHER ITEM, ADDED LATER: Sesame Street” gossip, courtesy of ERIN. It turns out that Erin Funck, an Erin, USED TO WORK FOR “SESAME STREET,” and wrote to me about “Sesame Street” after I wrote this VERY GOOD ARTICLE ranking all the “SS” songs in this one YouTube video. Here is some of the incredible gossip she shared, which made MY JAW DROP TO THE GROUND. I am quoting directly from her email.

• There is a magic ratio of the size of a muppet's pupil/ping pong ball eye that correlates with how old the Muppet is supposed to be...and those ages are so important in how the writers develop storylines to be developmentally accurate!  The research that goes into the details is so wild, and it just made me understand that some of the magic of the show is due to the METICULOUS research into developmental psychology.

• Another random secret that makes me cringe is how they store the Snuffleupagus Muppet!  He is hanging on a pulley system like 40 feet up in the air in the corner of the studio, with a big sheet hanging over him, but it doesn't cover his legs, and he just sways around and you see his little paws dangling and I hate it!  It was not right.  I like to think that at some point since I left in 2005 they are like hmmmm maybe we just get a longer sheet? 

• Also, if you/your child writes a letter to any Muppets on Sesame Street, THEY WILL WRITE BACK.  When I worked there, anyone who wrote to Big Bird got a feather in their response (I stole several).

59. Facts I’ve learned from “Pod Meets World” so you don’t have to. I have continued listening dutifully to the “Boy Meets World” podcast (if you are in this camp with me, we might need a Substack Chat thread about it, IDK). It hasn’t gotten better, or anything; I’m not RECOMMENDING it. But I have the following important facts for you:

• Danielle Fishel and Lance Bass are making a movie about their experience dating each other and then going to prom together.

• Matthew Lawrence is SERIOUSLY into reptiles and TBH it’s the best thing I’ve seen on the internet in a long time. (Check out his Instagram.)

• You can buy a shirt with a picture of Topanga on it and the quote, “Imagine what the sweet sleep of death must feel like” on it. I bought one. It’s the only shirt I think I need.

  EDIT: It seems like you can’t buy that shirt anymore. You snoozed on it and it’s gone. But maybe it’ll come back.
  
  

58. Your comments about watermelons.Two comments from Wednesday’s post blew my mind, and I have to share them with you, in case you missed them. The first one has two practical watermelon-related tips that I can’t wait to try (truly); the second is a lovely piece of narrative writing that the world needs to see and know.

57. I made this cake for Luke’s birthday and it was good.

56. Speaking of Molly Shannon, I love “I Love That For You.” Thank God they’re still making great comedies.

55. This hardcore chai recipe, which I will be trying (chai-ing? Sorry.) this week.
This is from Bust Magazine, which is still my favorite magazine, and you should consider subscribing to it, since it is facing hard times. In the meantime, I love the parts of this recipe that they put in their most recent issue. I’m making this this weekend. Do you want to be in a recipe club with me around this and compare notes? You’ll need to buy vanilla beans, but I think you can do it.
MORTAR AND PESTLE:

12 green cardamom pods

1 tsp. whole cloves

2 tsp. allspice

1/2 tsp. peppercorns

1/4 tsp. fennel seeds

TOAST THE ABOVE IN A SAUCEPAN ALONG WITH (2 min):

5 cinnamon sticks cut in half

4-inch piece of dried ginger

1 whole nutmeg

ADD:

3 cups of water, brought to a boil, then remove it all from heat.

The seeds from a vanilla bean

2 star anise

1/4 cup sugar

COVER & STEEP FOR 30 MINUTES.

BOIL AGAIN & REMOVE FROM HEAT.

ADD:

2 bags black tea, steeped for 5 minutes more.

STRAIN AND STORE IN A JAR. Serve equal parts concentrate and milk.

EDIT: I made this, and it was GREAT. It was an exorbitant amount of time and ingredients for what ended up being three cups of tea, but that made it all the more special. And the whole house smelled Iike staying inside when it snows. 

54. Started eating farro last week, and whoa.

53. Molly Anne Bishop, of whom I am a fan, has a whole new crop of clay-related merchandise. I am terrible with clay, but her stuff is so cute that I would probably buy it anyway. Also, her print of warblers is the central focus of my daughter’s bedroom.

52. I assigned “Crying In The H-Mart” to my students this year, and it really was all that and more.

51. Howie the Crab Eating a Raspberry. Set to “Raspberry Beret,” this important TikTok shows the backyard crab Howie enjoying a raspberry while wearing a literal raspberry beret. 115/10.

50. Sorry to hype a baby product, but my friend Jen recommended this French diapering cream, and while I could go either way about reusable diapers (we are using them, they are more work, it feels kind of worth it, but not all the way worth it, let’s talk about this for hours, anyway I’m gonna keep using them), I am an EVANGELIST for reusable wipes and this diapering cream.

49. Oh, I had to use a huge cleaver to cut the squash, btw. Or, I didn’t HAVE to use one, but Luke bought me one two Chistmases ago for cutting coconuts in half, and I had never used it, but MAN is it ever FUN to WHACK A SQUASH. Vegans think they don’t need meat cleavers, but they’re wrong.

48. For Christmas I received “Vegan, At Times,” and can recommend it for people who are true beginners at veganism and vegan cooking. HOWEVER, I did design a fun game, which has made my life infinitely better, and it is this: I put 20 recipes that sounded good to me on a numbered list. Then, whenever I need to cook, I roll a D-20 on the list and cook whatever the die tells me to cook. None of the recipes in this book take more than an hour, and they’re easy to improvise on.

EDIT: Actually, this cookbook became the MVP of the year. I wrote this blurb in January and have since cooked through the whole book. I learned a lot of new things — and I’ve been vegan for 20 years! So, in fact, I whole-heartedly recommend this cookbook to EVERYONE. It’s actually really great!

47.  “Fleishman Is In Trouble.” Taffy Brodesser-Akner — who wrote this novel, and the teleplay for this show — is an unlikely mentor of mine. I met her when I was on tour as a comedian for Air Sex, and she was reporting for GQ on “What is Air Sex?” I looked at her and wished to be her. I would absolutely not be the writer I am now if it weren’t for Taffy, and I would PROBABLY not even BE a writer. On top of being a wonderful mentor, she also happens to be one of my favorite writers; she’s so smart and funny and truthful and (is there another word for this?) biting. If you are also a writer, I want to pass along a piece of advice she gave me about reading the comments. It’s something I’ve revisited hundreds if not thousands of times, and highly recommend other writers take to heart: 

“The comments aren't meant for you to read. You've done your work. You've put out your product, and you have to now let the world do with it what you will. Unless someone accuses you of something egregious, then don't react. The comments are meant to be discussed among readers. No, I don't read them. I used to and they made me sad, or happy, or angry. Then I realized they had nothing to do with me, as much as someone giving me the finger when they cut me off has nothing to do with me.
-You're actually eavesdropping by reading them. Again, they are not meant for you. Hearing how people read your work will not make you a better writer; it will make you a defensive one. Nothing good comes from taking these people to heart. It will only make you weaker.
-Do you ever comment in comments sections? Neither do I. You know why? We're writers. We get paid for it.”

Anyway, Taffy wrote a novel, and then the novel got turned into a Hulu show, and I was saving it for when I had time for it. I am still “saving it,” so to speak; I’ve only watched the first episode. I do this when I know I will really love something. The first episode is GREAT. Of course it is. Taffy wrote it, and my number one favorite actress Lizzy Caplan is its star. So anyway, this is a roundabout way of saying that I 11/10 recommend this Hulu adaptation of “Fleishman Is In Trouble.” It is getting mixed reviews, and I feel like that’s because people are just jealous. (Vox called it “boring,” which it DEFINITELY is not, and also, I’m really tired of all the shows that insist on being “interesting” where “interesting” means that people have to get murdered and tortured constantly.)

EDIT: I am all caught up with this show, and it is just SO SO SO GOOD. I can’t wait to watch it again with Luke, because it is quality television and he will like it. It’s incredibly funny and the feminist commentary is so subtle. This is definitely a show about elite white people being terrible, sort of like Big Little Lies, so if that’s your jam…

46. Apparently we’re not allowed to fill our bird feeders right now because of the avian flu (THIS MAKES ME SO MAD AND SAD), so I recommend planting native plants.

45. After a slow start, I’m really digging “The Afterparty,” if only for the masterful comedic performances delivered by everyone’s favorites. “Someone Somewhere”’s season finale likewise did not disappoint.

EDIT: This was the first show T liked. She liked the cartoon episode. And since then, we haven’t gotten to watch our shows in front of T. 

44. The New York Times published this very compelling brand new scientific research about groundhogs yesterday, too, and it is actually really good?

43. Oh. I watched “Marry Me.” It is perfect. Let’s talk about it.

42. I have also started Chuck Klosterman’s “The Nineties: A Book” and am so far very here for it. I feel like you get to have whatever opinion you want to have about Chuck Klosterman, and if you have a negative opinion of him, this is not going to be the book for you. But maybe you like him! I’m indifferent, but I have a personal interest in the nineties. I was alive then, but not really alive, you know?

EDIT: This was the year I realized how wet I get for anything having to do with the nineties. I’ve entered my nostalgia phase of life. Anyway, this book ended up being fantastic. I might read it again. 

41. God, this has been such a fucking certain-type-of-woman themed excerpt of extras, but I just have to tell you that Trader Joe’s has a new vegan buffalo dip that is revelatory.

EDIT: REVELATORY. 

40. The musician Annie DiRusso only has six songs and she is only 21 (which is lyrically obvious), but every one of them is a BANGER. I can’t get enough.

EDIT: I think she’s released two more songs since I wrote this.

39. I really love this New York Times newsletter called “Read Like The Wind.” I have a crush on it. I’m not a huge books newsletter person, because I don’t have a lot of time for books. But I love this newsletter and feel giddy whenever it arrives.

EDIT: I bought a shirt from the writer of this newsletter that says “Make BIG MONEY writing poetry!” On the front, and it’s my favorite shirt. 

38.  “A Walkable Internet” by Brendan Jercich. Brendan is technically an Erin, so I’m (I GUESS) a little biased. This post is about shifting our ideas around friction as it relates to the internet, and it’s thought-provoking, beautiful, and meant to be savored. I read it in slow installments, and then again all at once. Brendan’s whole website is an incredible corner of the internet, and worth checking out. He writes about gardens as a sort of internet metaphor here, and if a website is a garden, his garden is the kind that you stop walking your dog for to take in and appreciate.

EDIT: I loved this piece, but even more than that, I found myself using this turn-of-phrase a lot after I read it. It helped me get more intentional about how I use the internet, and I’m really grateful to Brendan for that. (Not only is Brendan an Erin, but he is my girlfriend Kat’s husband and partner, and he is my family. So I’m definitely biased. But this is  also definitely good.)

37. The Passion Planner. I notice myself showing off my planner a lot lately, especially when people ask about my writing schedule and how I make time to create. I map it out in this expensive planner, and I use the week-to-week to schedule out minute-by-minute my days. I also engage with and really like the reflection pages at the end of each month, and find that they help me move forward. Also, for a person who has a lot of things to do that change every day, I greatly appreciate how big this book is. There is enough space to get into the nitty gritty. Lots of big blank pages at the end, too.

EDIT: The maker of this planner started following me back this year, and she’s just such a lovely human being trying to do good things in the world. So please support her beautiful business and give this planner a shot. I’ve used a lotttttt of types of planners, and this is the only one with enough space for all I need a planner to do (and nothing superfluous). (I really like the reflection pages in here. I’m definitely into guided questions. But Kat uses this planner too and does NOT reflect on the reflection pages, and they STILL love the planner.)

36. Always cornstarch your tofu first. I have made a new tofu recipe (it’s from Martha Stewart, but don’t let that deter you; it’s a great recipe), and what I realized in making it is that YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COAT YOUR TOFU IN CORNSTARCH BEFORE YOU FRY IT. It is just so. much. better. This recipe called for crumbled tofu; crumbling is something I rarely do with tofu, since I feel it makes it soggy. NOT WHEN YOU COAT IT ALL WITH CORNSTARCH, MY FRIEND! Honestly, this is so easy and improves fried tofu SO MUCH that I am heartbroken that I lived 20 years of a vegan life without knowing it. Future me will never make this mistake again.

35. The main two things I’m jazzed about this week are roasting things and thinning out hummus. Here’s what I mean: you can roast PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING, which was a revelation to me. I cover a sheet pan with stuff — some combination of broccoli, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, canned beans, cherry tomatoes, old polenta, smooshed-down quinoa, little pieces of bread, lentil mash, tofu, tempeh, mushroom stems, ribbons of kale — drizzled with olive oil and spritzed with garlic salt and red pepper. Then I throw it in the oven at 450 until the sweet potato is soft because there’s always sweet potato. In the meantime, I put a scoop or two of hummus in the blender with more garlic and lemon juice, a little soy sauce, and water, til it becomes a sauce. I eat this meal every day. Every time I eat it I think, “THIS is the best meal.” It is.

34. “Do Revenge” on Netflix. A wonderful thing happened this week, which was that Luke took T to a 7:30 a.m. doctors’ appointment, and they left at 6:30. I was left alone at home with two hours before my body was required to do anything. And my thought was, “I want to eat bread and apples in the bed while watching something that Luke would never watch.” Just my luck, a new teen comedy had just dropped on Netflix. “Do Revenge” is exactly “Mean Girls,” updated for Gen Z, so there are lesbians. I’ll complain that this movie, like every form of mass media in existence, treats the idea of ethical non-monogamy as a joke, which made me sigh unhappily; but otherwise, this was a lot of fun, and the soundtrack was a lot of fun, too. Three-quarters of the way into it I thought, “Oh, I’m jealous of people who haven’t watched this yet,” which is the highest praise I can come up with for anything at all.

33. I’m giving money to the New Orleans Abortion Fund because of trigger laws in Louisiana. Here’s a list of other places to give money right now in the wake of the possible overturning of Roe v. Wade.

EDIT: Strike “possible.”

32. The daily cartoon by Zoe Si following the shooting this week made me cry, and I think it’s a perfect work of art.

31.  Rosemary Mosco on Instagram and Elsewhere. Rosemary Mosco’s really incredible website, Bird and Moon is just bird and nature cartoons. “Just” is the wrong word.This artist’s work was sent to me a few months ago by a reader named Jay, and it has been unhinging my jaw ever since. I did immediately feel jealous of Rosemary Mosco because she got a FULL-PAGE PIGEON EXPLAINER in the New York Times, but to be honest, she totally deserves it. Her work is incredible. It’s so smart, and so funny, and so bird-y. It’s what my work wishes it could be, but it can’t be, because she was gifted with her particular gift, and I was gifted with mine. Nevertheless, PLEASE do yourself a favor and follow her (and buy her books!). Unless you, like, really hate birds and have a really, really good reason. In which case, I’m sorry I keep bringing up birds. I have to be honest: it’s gonna keep happening.

30. Bethany recommended to me the podcast “Maintenance Phase,” which teaches about all things body: weight loss fads, fat phobia, body-related myths, etc. Excellently fact-checked. 

AND LATER I WROTE: More “Maintenance Phase.”After last week, I started listening to lots of episodes of “Maintenance Phase” because a reader told me it had shifted their perspective on fatness and bodies. I’m hooked. I have listened to six episodes now and found all of them to be well-researched, illuminating, and interestingly (funly!) reported. (Spell check is trying to say that “funly” isn’t a word, which is so unfun of the spoilsport that is spell check.) The episode that changed my mind the most was the one about “Supersize Me” (it was anti-“Supersize Me,” and even after Morgan Spurlock had his “me too” moment, I didn’t realized how problematic this film was; it was so important to Young Activist Sophie). The one I found most fascinating was the one about calories.)

29. This article about the end of the nuclear family.This article came out a long time ago (well, it came out in 2020, but literally RIGHT before the pandemic was THE PANDEMIC, so it might as well have been in another lifetime), and it definitely has that David-Brooks-white-cis-het-male slant (because it is written by David Brooks), but his thesis — that the nuclear family is a failure and we need (and ARE BUILDING) new models — is exactly the thesis of the book I am currently trying to write. (Mine is much queerer, duh.) The thing about being David Brooks is that you have a lot of experience as a journalist and have a lot of resources, and you do your research, and your research is actually really great! He interviewed one of my personal heroes, Mia Birdsong (“How We Show Up”) for this article. Bonus: you can listen to it if you don’t have time to read it!

28. The five things I was happiest we had in my daughter’s first year of life.
Some people have asked about baby products, and I mostly (totally) feel that different people love and use different things. But I can tell you the five things we have absolutely gotten the most bang for our buck out of in the first 365 days, for if you are having a baby soon, or if your friend is having one.

EDIT: This ranked so high because TBH thinking about this baby was 90 percent of my 2022. I wish there was more I thought about it, but I mostly just thought about BABY. 

• A mobile hanging above the changing table. This may have saved T’s life.

• The Ergobaby. We inherited my sister’s and I literally use it every day and have for the past eight months.

• A travel-friendly sound machine. (They are TINY and you’d think they wouldn’t work as well, but they work BETTER because you can take them everywhere, and they are very loud.)

• Onesie jammies. She wears them during the day and at night. I do not dress this baby up. Just, dresses and onesies.

• This LEGO TABLE. I think probably any table where the baby can stand is good, but this one from Goodwill has been amazing for playing with toys.

27. I have been reading (by which I mean listening to audiobooks of) exclusively histories of American comedy. I have consumed:

• The Saturday Night oral history. (Great. Problematic. Addicting. I wish it lasted forever.)

• The Daily Show oral history. (Pretty good. Less problematic, but also less interesting.)

• “The Comedians” by Kliff Nesteroff. (Good enough. Exhaustive. Interesting sometimes, and then sometimes not that interesting. Overwhelmingly masc.)

• “I’m Dying Up Here” by William Knoedelseder. (Just, like, VERY FUN to read. Not super informative, but written sort of like a novel, and so it is FUN.)

• “The History of Stand-Up Podcast,” which is occasionally brilliant, but not often.

• And NOW I am reading Shawn Levy’s new book, “In On The Joke,”which is about female comedians in the “golden era,” and IT IS INCREDIBLE. I can already tell it’s my favorite, and I know Shawn, so I am excited to write him a gushing email about how much I love and can recommend this gorgeous book, which is appropriately adoring.

26. My favorite salad dressing is: 1/4 cashews + 1 bunch of cilantro + the juice of a lemon + a jalapeño + salt + a little water, in a blender. YOU ARE WELCOME. AND DE-SEED IT IF YOU HATE SPICE.

EDIT: This salad dressing appears closer to the top of this list under “the salad of every day.” I have slightly revised it. 

25. Here is an old essay that apparently many people have read that is, on one level, about hummingbirds; and on other levels about other things. I absolutely cried when I finished it.

24. Baked oatmeal. I have been avoiding processed sugar since Kat’s birthday. I am always interested in changing my relationship with sugar, because I don’t like how it makes me feel, and it strikes me as more addictive than other substances I interact with on a day-to-day basis. This is also super-hard for me, because I have a certifiable sweet tooth and I WANT sugar all the time. To cope, I’ve been making a version of this sugar-free baked oatmeal once a week or so. It’s great: sort of bread-puddingy and warming and with some sea salt and cinnamon on top, it satisfies the sweet-things cravings I have. (I veganize this recipe by using flax eggs, vegan butter, and hemp milk.)

23. On a less trashy note, the hype about “The Vanishing Half” is for good reason. I’ve already cried twice and I’m not even halfway through.

EDIT: When I finished this, it destroyed me. I was crying so hard as I finished it that I couldn’t read the pages. I loved it SO MUCH. It was a great work of fiction that twisted and turned in all the right ways.

22. Thanks to Jen for this video of Fiona Apple observing slugs having sex.

21. A mushroom grow kit. I bought a pink oyster grow kit from Far West Fungi for $25. It worked really fast, and was mind-blowingly cool.
It will produce mushrooms at least two more times (and maybe even three), and then I can put what’s leftover in my garden as mulch. It has already paid for itself, mushroom-wise. It was also just such a pleasure to watch and notice and learn about as it grew. We cooked these mushrooms, and I was impressed by how they looked like salmon. We put them on a flatbread, and it was my favorite possible flatbread. I will buy more of these, forever, until I am dead or out of money or they are no longer available.

EDIT: I have now bought four more kits: lion’s mane, yellow oyster, shiitake, and pink oyster again. I still think the pink oyster is the best, but the shiitake is the most interesting. It grows differently and more sporadically than the oysters. The lion’s mane is pretty, but as a mushroom, it doesn’t hit for me. 

20. Flatbread night. Trader Joe’s sells fresh pizza dough (as I’m sure you know) for something like $1.99. As a kid, I found all homemade pizza to be a little disappointing, and this $2 dough provided no exception. So we renamed it “Flatbread Night,” which is NEVER disappointing. It’s always a damned delight.
We have Flatbread Night every Sunday. We buy the herbed pizza dough, and spread it out on a baking sheet (see above) into whatever shape it wants to take. A layer of tomato sauce, and then we add whatever vegetables we didn’t eat that week that are in the fridge. I usually crumble some soyrizo on top, and then we add olive oil and salt and pepper, and 10 minutes later, we have PERFECT FLATBREAD. Our one-year-old loves this food, and WE love this food. We look forward to it every week. It is cheap and easy and wonderful.

19. Harvest muffins. I’ve started making these for T every week. You can sub the brown sugar for a mashed banana (but they aren’t even close to as good) or maple syrup or coconut sugar (almost as good). The original recipe calls for coconut flakes instead of nuts, and I’ve added flax meal because T is often constipated. Microwave them for 20 seconds before serving them after the first day. They are definitely T’s favorite non-pizza food, and I’m thrilled she gets a bunch of vegetables this way. Also, I LOVE THEM. I’ve never subbed out the flour, but these aren’t very gluteny, so I imagine a basic gf flour blend would sub fine in these. Let me know if you try it!

MIX: 1 cup grated veg (beets, zucchini, parsnips, butternut squash, carrots, in any combination), and 1 grated apple, with 1 t ground cinnamon, 1/4 t salt, 2 large eggs, 1/2 cup olive oil, 1 Tablespoon honey, 1/3 cup dark brown sugar, 1/3 cup chopped dried fruit or raisins, 2 Tablespoons flax meal, and 1 cup chopped nuts.

Make a well in the middle, then within the well, mix 1 1/8 cups whole wheat flour and 1 teaspoon baking soda. Then combine everything.

Scoop into greased or lined muffin tins.

BAKE: at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

18. The Substack newsletter

Garbage Day

Let me first advocate for the Substack reading app, which I have gotten pretty addicted to this week as a sort of longform social media aggregate. I appreciate how newsletters take a long time on both ends — for writers and readers, and they therefore create more intimate-feeling relationships. “Garbage Day” is my current favorite Substack; it reminds me of how I used to feel listening to “Reply All” before everything got terrible. It’s all cozy internet stuff, and I think it’s a lot of fun. If you don’t like white boys with left-leaning politics talking about pop culture, though, skip it. (And I respect that.)

EDIT: I got more into

Today in Tabs

after I wrote this; that’s my never-miss newsletter now. But I love these internetty newsletters more than I thought it was possible to love something you read online. I am really grateful in general to Substack for helping me fall in love with the internet again. 

17. The salad of every day. There is a salad I eat every day, and I think I’ve told you about it before, but I’ve had a few revelations about it.

THE SALAD (this is for five days of salads; divide by 5ish if you want it for one day of salad): two cans of black beans + 1 head of romaine lettuce, shredded + 1 purple onion, diced + 5 radishes, chopped + 2 bell peppers, chopped + 2 carrots, grated + 3 mini cucumbers, diced. Many people who like tomatoes would add some halved cherry tomatoes.

THE DRESSING: 1/2 cups raw cashews, 1/2 cup water, juice + zest of a lime, 1/2 bunch of cilantro, 1 jalapeño seeded or not depending on your love of heat.

THE TRICK: Store this salad (undressed) in a huge gallon Zip-Lock! And then pack some of it in your Tupperware each day. It takes up no space in the fridge when stored this way.

THE OTHER TRICK: Pack it with a single serving of guacamole! I recently discovered these, and I am hooked on them. I get that plastic is bad, and that when I recycle it, AM I recycling it? But more than that, I just can’t buy an avocado to save my life. I buy them and they go bad, or they never are ripe. This will not change about me. These single-servings are really good for making avocado toast for my bb, or tossing into this salad, or having on taco night.

16. Liana Finck’s new book, “Let There Be Light” comes out next week. I am a fan of her, and she is also just a genuinely lovely person, and this book (a re-imagining of The Book of Genesis) looks incredible.

THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER I RECOMMENDED: Liana Finck’s newsletter. I have become maybe sort of obsessed with Liana. She was pregnant at the same time I was pregnant and her content started to feel eerie. Then we started chatting a little bit and I grew enamored with how she wrote and thought. More than anyone else on this earth, Liana makes me feel better. Whatever I’m going through, she knows exactly what to say. She is calming and kind and so incredibly smart and I just feel really grateful to live at the same time as she is alive. She launched a Substack newsletter this week, and it’s really really good, so if you’re not subscribed, get on that.

EDIT: My book didn’t do very well. Whether or not Liana really liked it, she made me FEEL like she really liked it. This was the single saving grace of pouring my literal soul into a book and watching it flop all over the place. The mantra “At least Liana” became something I repeated frequently, often about things that really had nothing to do with Liana. I’m just really glad to live at the same time as Liana Finck. That might be the theme of this list. There are some really good people alive right now. 

15. Dried bouquets.I’ve always loved having fresh flowers around; I love that they’re ephemeral, and beautiful, and exist to be eye pleasure. But honestly, since having a baby, they are more difficult. They smell bad if you don’t change the water every day. It has stopped feeling super worth it to me. I’ve read about dried flowers, and wondered if they could make me happy. In a gift shop this week, I saw a bundle on sale for $18 (off $55, which I’ve known to be the norm). I bought them. The more I look at them, the more enchanting I find them. I look at them from every angle and fall in love with them again and again. I’m smitten. I had the thought earlier today, “I get to go home soon and look at my dried flowers.” And then I did that, and as an activity, it didn’t disappoint.

EDIT: Since then, I have bought more dried flowers, and I love all of them. It’s gotten so I feel annoyed by cut fresh flowers (except my tiny bouquets). “WHY CAN’T THESE JUST BE DRIED,” I think.

14. I’m sure you’ve heard, but the free birdwatching app Merlin added a feature where you can hold your phone up and it will identify all the bird songs in your area. It is AMAZING, and I didn’t believe for an instant that it would work, but it totally does and is so, so helpful.

13. “What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma” by Stephanie Foo. My sister recommended this book to me, and it’s been a slow read because the beginning is pretty disturbing, but now I’m almost done and the second half of the book has been totally illuminating. Foo is a great reporter, and she is unwilling to tell a story that doesn’t check every angle and explore every blind spot. She’s also funny, whip-smart, clever — it’s excellent storytelling on top of everything. If you’re looking for some great science about inherited trauma (and you’ve already read “My Grandmother’s Hands” twice), this is the book. (Thanks, Alexis!)

EDIT: It just gets better and better. This is an example of a book that builds itself into a firework. 

12. "Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski. So, yes, this is the Book Club book for this newsletter, and there’s an amount of parlaying on my part here to try to get you to read it so you will come to the book club discussion and talk to me about it.  But also, as Nagoski promises in the introduction, there have been so many parts of this book I’ve wanted everyone who is alive and interested in sex to read, because I’m not good at summarizing the science of what she writes. (SHE is good at it. I really like how she makes an analogy of the genitals and the brain being like two people looking for a good restaurant to eat lunch at. I would elaborate, but she does such a great job with this analogy, and I will botch it.) There are a good number of postpartum people who read this newsletter, and this book has made me cry three times so far in its compassionate and helpful portrayal of trying to have sex after having a baby. I will be honest with you: even as a person who writes about polyamory fairly regularly, I’m mortified to talk about how I’m reading a book about sex (see also: “Pleasure Activism,” a perfect book); so if you are feeling similarly (and maybe even the second arrow of shame ABOUT your shame), know that you’re not alone and she actually talks about that in this book. You just have to get over the initial hump (pun intended, I GUESS) of getting the book into your hands (or into your ears — she reads her own audiobook aloud), and beginning.

EDIT: I also read “Burnout” by Emily and her twin sister Amelia, which was also GREAT. A lot of the information in it struck me as sort of repeat information from “Come As You Are,” but if you want some feminist brain science, but don’t want to talk about sex, start with “Burnout.” Both books are amazing. 

11. “Wintering” by Katherine May. This book was recommended by an Erin (and a few other people through the years, as I’ve discussed how I don’t understand the cultural tendency to amp up what we need to get done when we’re actively losing light). It’s great. I’m listening to it and I need to buy the print edition because there’s too much to underline. The difference between this book and other books I’ve recommended lately is that it’s QUITE beautiful — rather than being conversational. (Use of “quite” is intentional — it’s a British book.) This is a perfect book for this time of year. Get it, fix yourself a cuppa, get under a blanket, and let the rest of the year unfold.

10. End-of-season mushrooms on toast. It’s getting cold, the mushrooms are going to sleep. Go to the farmers’ market and get the last ones of the season, and put them on toast with butter. This is the greatest and best meal of all the meals. (How to cook wild mushrooms for toast: put them in a single layer on a dry skillet for a few minutes until the moisture starts to dissipate and they begin to brown. Then, add some oil and toss. Finally, add a pat of butter and stir until it melts and season with salt and pepper.)

EDIT: It was a big deal to me this year that I realized that good mushrooms on toast are my actual favorite food. I haven’t changed favorite foods in literal decades (I am a pie person), but the truth is, mushrooms on toast. That is the truth. 

9. THIS NEW SONGBIRD!!! THERE IS NO PIECE OF NEWS I COULD LOVE OR HAVE EVER LOVED MORE THAN THIS. (Thanks to Kat for the tip.) A new songbird hybrid has been discovered by a birder in Pennsylvania. Things to love about this:

• It is the opposite of a bird going extinct.

• It is a cross between a rose-breasted grosbeak and a SCARLET TANAGER. For personal reasons, I turn upside down about tanagers, and so should you — for your own reasons.

• That means that two gorgeous songbirds saw each other and were like, “You are beautiful, let’s mate” to each other. ROMANTIC!

• Yes, birds definitely have aesthetic preferences like that. I will not entertain argument to the contrary.

• This bird was discovered by a regular man who just likes birds a lot, and it was discovered using the excellent and amazing Merlin app, which allows you to record bird sounds on your phone and it IDs them. An app has done a cool thing that is better than anything any other app has ever done.

• They didn’t have to kill the bird to verify its newness. They took some blood, and they let him go.

8. The Weird Al Yankovic movie, “Weird.” You knew this was coming, didn’t you? Of course it was. I haven’t even watched this movie yet. I promise you I am going to love this movie. I bought a Roku for this.

EDIT: Honestly, it was MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. It integrated so many elements from “UHF” and never lost sight of itself. I am ready to watch it again. Do you want to come over? Like I said: I have a ROKU. 

7. Please brace yourself as I just nerd out about how much I am in love with Petey USA. Like most people, I discovered him on TikTok as a comedian and was uncharacteristically charmed. I am usually not into cis, white, California boys who drink a lot of beer. But his comedy was so nice, sort of like a curse-word-ier iteration of Joe Pera’s, and I was like, “Yeah. I dig this.” This was about a year ago, by the way. I didn’t really want to admit to liking a TikTok celebrity. But I did have a dream about him that made me feel like we actually knew each other in real life, which made me feel a little nervous, like I was at risk of having a parasocial relationship with this guy. Then in November, The New Yorker had an article about how he was making earnest music. I was like, “That’s stupid. He should stay in his comedy lane.” But then my Discover Weekly on Spotify randomly put his song “Microwave Dinner” on a playlist for me, and I was immediately like, “WHOA. WHAT IS THIS.” Then I listened to it three times before I realized THIS WAS THE SAME PETEY. THEN I listened to his whole alum and Have. Not. Been. Able. To. Listen. To. Anything. Else. Like, I am OBSESSED. The last time I felt this way about a musician, it was LIZZO. The music is pretty emo, and I have now listened to everything he has on Spotify and “Lean Into Life” is definitely the best thing he’s put out, by far. But it’s just kind of not like anything else. It is poppy, it’s screamy sometimes, it’s (indeed) earnest, it’s about friendship. You think it’s one thing and then it’s another thing. He loses points for writing too much about MDMA and stuff, but whatever, he’s 29, and he’s having a good time. I don’t think this music is for everyone, but man. IT IS SERIOUSLY FOR ME.

6.  “Marcel the Shell With Shoes On” the movie. This movie has been out for a long time now, and everyone else has already written about how excellent it is, but maybe you haven’t read everyone else’s testimonials because you were waiting to hear mine. Here it is: this is actually the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean, people are subjective, and this movie really does meet all my very particular needs, which almost definitely don’t match yours. Part of the goodness of my experience was the event itself: Luke and I hadn’t been to a movie since I was nine-plus months pregnant, and I just had *a feeling* that this would really hit for both of our particularities, so we made a date to see it at The Music Box, which is the best place in The United States to see a movie, and the theater was sold out (?!!?) on a Monday night, and it was mostly teens there, and they were loving it just as much as we were, so that was part of it. Content-wise, it was very funny, but it was also about loss, grief, relationships, carrying on, hoping, letting go of hope, and the existential reality of living a life in a body. All this in under 90 minutes — plus, the little worlds constructed for the film were perfect: chairs made of champagne corks, and licorice benches, and on and on. There was an excellent tampon appearance at the end. It was also quite gentle, but never ever boring. (I really had to pee, but I waited.)

5. This cumin-roasted cauliflower recipe. Originally, this was an Alison Roman recipe, and I found it on TikTok. I have now made it like 13 times and every single time it has really impressed the noshers. I use whole cumin when roasting the cauliflower, and mint instead of or combined with oregano.

EDIT: After a lot of deliberation, I have decided this was my favorite recipe of the year. 

4. We went to LaBagh woods last weekend and saw two scarlet tanagers. May I please remind you that birds are FREE TO LOOK AT and AMAZING?!?!?! See my husband’s photographs of the tanager here.

EDIT: I don’t know what I’m trying to advertise here, exactly; it was very cool to see the tanagers, and I cried. 

3.  “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow” by Gabrielle Zevin. This book was recommended to me by Real Life It Girl Lindsay Pugh (who blogs here), with enough fervor that I decided to put everything else aside and read it. Within the first 20 pages, I felt jealous of the Sophie who hadn’t started it yet. If you haven’t read this book yet, I feel jealous of you. You are so lucky, that this book lies in front of you, as-of-yet unread. Lindsay said she read it in a day; I read it over the course of a long weekend — and I have A BABY. It sucks you up, and then when you’re done, you’re sad, because it ended. Why did it have to end!? WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE KEPT GOING? Loosely, “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow” is about two friends who grow up to develop video games together. The themes are: friends, love, collaboration, creativity, life transitions, growing together, growing apart, and video games (but in a way where you don’t have to give two figs about video games). Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I felt quite like this about a book — where I entered a palpable phase of brief depression when it was over BECAUSE it was over. For that reason, proceed with caution.

EDIT: I am still experiencing the depression of this book being over, which happened more than a month ago. 

2. Electric bike. A few months ago, my bike was stolen. This happens. It has happened to me at least six times. You may be thinking, “Sophie, are you not locking your bike up properly?” And the answer is: no. I am not. This is a real problem I have, along with my dislike of raw tomatoes (it’s texture-related), and my failure to always dispose of my floss. Anyway, after this bike was stolen, Luke and I discussed the possibility of buying an electric bike. This would take the place of a car for me during the parts of the year where being outside while commuting is possible. We went to Erik’s and we bought this electric bike, which is comparatively affordable as well as it is lightweight. It also has the advantage of not really looking like an electric bike, and being sort of pretty. I have ridden it nine miles to work and back three times, and thirteen miles downtown and back once, and the verdict is in: ELECTRIC BIKE IS AWESOME. Electric bike is the future. It is by far the most pleasant commute I’ve had from Rogers Park to far-away places, no question. I could really go on and on about this, but I think it sort of requires riding on an electric bike to get what I mean, so get thee to a bike shop and test drive one. You can just do that, and then leave. It’s a revelation. (And I am locking this bike up properly, by which I mean, it lives in the locked garage.)

1. “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman. My mentor and perennial favorite human Jill Riddell has been talking about this book for a few months now, in the context of, “Ever since I read that book, I have been feeling so much better.” Hearing this refrain for months makes a person curious, and so I put this book next on my reading queue. “Four Thousand Weeks” was a best-seller a year ago, and I totally get it. The profound effect it had on Jill has already settled in me, and I see this as being one of those seminal texts that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. It is a book that squarely takes on the impossible question of what to do about the fact that you are certainly going to die. Rather than being morose and scary, it’s absolutely uplifting. Some time ago, I visited a chiropractor to deal with years-old back pain. In one visit, he pulled my spine into alignment and suddenly, the pain was gone. This book is like that, but for the existential dread of being human.

EDIT: This lands at number one because more than anything else on this list, it changed my life for the better. It’s not perfect in the way that other books on this list are perfect. But a book that settles you and makes you less afraid of death, that helps you in moments of panic and on an existential level? That’s an important book. If you’re filled with dread about how you’re living your life, this is the book. If you’re not, good job! Electric bikes are awesome. 

See you in 2023, folks!