When I was 4-5 I thought my parents kept a cow in their bedroom. I think it was well in my teens when thinking back I realized they were just loud snorers.
Happy birthday, Sophie. I didn't get enough sleep last night to do the actual math, but I'm about a decade and a half ahead of you. There's a point where "the change" comes. Not menopause (well, that, too), but a tremendous perspective shift. The whole zero-fux thing is true. You just run TF out. And you get really comfortable being you without any of those fux weighing you down. And all the self-doubt? Part of the fux not given. It's a lovely, lighter way of being...and I hope it starts trickling down to women at younger ages, when they are doing a good enough job, when they are lovely, wonderful humans doing wonderfully human things, setting judgment aside and finding compassion, for themselves and others. I hope this is an extraordinary year for you. And, yeah, changing one's mind is so far from weak. xo
I’m five years ahead of you Sophie but feel like I’m always at your thirty-one. I’m kind of tired of always believing I’m going to be a healed person. I’m kind of tired of always searching for what will heal me. Maybe this is my year to learn, my year to rest.
Happy Birthday! I hope you have a lovely year and many more lovely years!
as you know, a LOT is changing and I am reflecting all over the place on the things I’ve done well and things I wish I had done differently and things I hope to accomplish. the biggest thing that has changed in my ‘self’ is finally feeling very grounded in who I am as a person, even if I can’t act in accordance with that knowledge perfectly or constantly due to fear and anxiety. I’m never not trying, though.
I was thinking about my first comment / hello on YADAGEJ among The Erin’s and how I talked about wanting to move and not being sure where we wanted to end up!!! and here we are. one week and a few days from moving our house of ten years and our home of nearly twenty halfway across the country!!! as my wife and I considered where we could go and what we wanted from life at this point, Chicago was the first and only place where we both said “yes this could work” and I’m so grateful for everyone who has helped us and hyped us up for this move, you included!
I am definitely changing. Definitely middle age. My body is changing, the way it looks and feels and what it can do. The same with my mind! Of course there's a part of me that wants to rail against these changes, but I'm finding its much easier to be open to them, with curiosity.
I love your writing & I think we are all doing good enough! 😊
What you were wrong about at 25 is exactly what I was wrong about at 30, genders reversed, word for word. (Except for the hurricane and standup.)
dear sophie!
thank you for sharing all of these things that you were wrong about.
i'm glad you were wrong about them and that you know it now.
AND i think that sharing all of these wrongnesses is something you are very RIGHT about.
thank you!
love,
myq
When I was 4-5 I thought my parents kept a cow in their bedroom. I think it was well in my teens when thinking back I realized they were just loud snorers.
Happy birthday, Sophie. I didn't get enough sleep last night to do the actual math, but I'm about a decade and a half ahead of you. There's a point where "the change" comes. Not menopause (well, that, too), but a tremendous perspective shift. The whole zero-fux thing is true. You just run TF out. And you get really comfortable being you without any of those fux weighing you down. And all the self-doubt? Part of the fux not given. It's a lovely, lighter way of being...and I hope it starts trickling down to women at younger ages, when they are doing a good enough job, when they are lovely, wonderful humans doing wonderfully human things, setting judgment aside and finding compassion, for themselves and others. I hope this is an extraordinary year for you. And, yeah, changing one's mind is so far from weak. xo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SOPHIE! I love this reflection you did, it’s inspiring and hopeful and so so full of growth!
So much change! I’m moving in the fall, I’m contemplating attempting to date, I’m switching careers - it’s all scary but it’s all moving!
I’m five years ahead of you Sophie but feel like I’m always at your thirty-one. I’m kind of tired of always believing I’m going to be a healed person. I’m kind of tired of always searching for what will heal me. Maybe this is my year to learn, my year to rest.
Happy Birthday! I hope you have a lovely year and many more lovely years!
Happy birthday Sophie!! You are so beautiful and your writing is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it with us.
oh sophie! in tears over here. thank you.
as you know, a LOT is changing and I am reflecting all over the place on the things I’ve done well and things I wish I had done differently and things I hope to accomplish. the biggest thing that has changed in my ‘self’ is finally feeling very grounded in who I am as a person, even if I can’t act in accordance with that knowledge perfectly or constantly due to fear and anxiety. I’m never not trying, though.
I was thinking about my first comment / hello on YADAGEJ among The Erin’s and how I talked about wanting to move and not being sure where we wanted to end up!!! and here we are. one week and a few days from moving our house of ten years and our home of nearly twenty halfway across the country!!! as my wife and I considered where we could go and what we wanted from life at this point, Chicago was the first and only place where we both said “yes this could work” and I’m so grateful for everyone who has helped us and hyped us up for this move, you included!
I am definitely changing. Definitely middle age. My body is changing, the way it looks and feels and what it can do. The same with my mind! Of course there's a part of me that wants to rail against these changes, but I'm finding its much easier to be open to them, with curiosity.