love the idea of mindfully listening to a song! and candles! and plants! and reading! and making*! and everything else you mention!
also, two things i love doing that you mention that i specifically want to give a big up to down here:
1) making a plan
2) straying from a plan
i like a plan so much i had it be most of my last name, k? a plan! (or ka-plan, where the "ka" i think is something i learned in the fourth grade is one of the spirits in ancient egyptian lore. a spirit plan! that's me! and anyone else who likes, regardless of name!)
*it's fun that "making" is made of "ma" + "king" which is like motherhood (which involves making) plus being in charge of it all (both in historically gendered ways that i'm happy can go together here in whatever genderless or gender-combo'd way anyone likes). something like that!
that's all for now!
thanks again for all things always!
love,
myq
PS i had a conversation on my podcast with comedian ariel elias (which will come out next week, i believe, and i think i'm right because i'm in charge of my podcast... i am the ma-king of it) where she shared a nice thing that i wanted to share here: she says every night, she and her husband ask each other (and answer) "what was your favorite part of today?" and my girlfriend and i started doing it and we really like it. it's simple and nice and if anyone wants to, they can! (it also works if you forget to do it at night and then ask the next day. or three days later. or whenever.)
I love having a paper planner. How retro! I’m going to try some daily small delights. The outside one reminded me of Alexis Nicole @blackforager on Instagram who recently wrote about a mental health mosey looking for vegetation in the midst of winter. With appreciation!
Thank you for this! I love it! <--yes, I really mean those exclamation points that we’re not supposed to overuse.
I’ve been struggling lately with working from home and feeling like I never accomplish the things for myself that I want. This is a game changer for me. So simple yet so important! Now to make my gifts-to-me list.
I found solo parenting a toddler very lonely, and I am a person who is often quite happy to be alone. I think it's because you're not able to do the things that usually make being alone pleasurable - settling into a book, or a project, or getting lost in your thoughts. Your attention has to be on the small person, who may do something hazardous at any moment.
Honestly, I found parenting toddlers exhausting, and often a bit boring. I understand how important it is for them to repeat games and activities, but my adult brain can only take so much of the "build a tower, knock it down" cycle. There ARE MANY wonderful parts of being around toddlers. Watching them learn and experience is a joy. But I think a big part of the joy is sharing the experience with your co-parent and other family. And when your kid does something wonderful, or ridiculous, but you don't have someone close at hand to share it with, you don't always get the same bump to your mood. It can highlight your alone-ness.
Yes! I thoroughly relate to this. Solo parenting is lonely. And exhausting. I love Anna Mathur (the author and psychologist) and her take on how hard this is and why.
This so much!! Solo parenting a toddler is so deeply lonely. They can only kinda sorta (if you are lucky) talk back. They are not that interested in what you want or what you want to do, and there are no breaks when another adult can come in the room and share the burden or tag you out on the burden so you can have some time inside your own brain. Then when the kid finally goes to sleep you are limited on what you can do in a way that would normally be fine but is somehow smothering when forced upon you. I definitely door dashed myself concretes from Lickety Split when alone those evenings. Even when I had ice cream in the house. The sheer decadence of getting that concrete delivered, the following along of the (I guess it was uber eats) little car on the map on the app as a connection to you outside of the home was like remembering you were in real life, and then there was ice cream at the end.
Thank you for this. You have such a talent for breaking things down so that setting goals or trying something new feels a lot more achievable. I also love the idea that we need to devote time just to planning in order to set ourselves up for success.
Can someone please remind me how to LISTEN to this newsletter? I'm a better listener than reader! I subscribed to this newsletter specifically because I enjoy listening.
But I can't figure out how to listen to Sophie reading these herself.
I had this question too. In the Substack app, the little play button at the top plays it ... But in a robot voice. I chalked it up to being on Android, we always get the short end of the stick!
I had no idea anyone ever listened to those, and they took me a while to record, so I gave up! I recorded one for this week. I'll try to start integrating them again. Thanks for letting me know you like them! Let me know if you have trouble listening to it; it should be embedded at the top.
I had no idea anyone ever listened to those, and they took me a while to record, so I gave up! I recorded one for this week for you, karen. I'll try to start integrating them again. Thanks for letting me know you like them! Let me know if you have trouble listening to it; it should be embedded at the top.
Sophie! I'm feeling lonely today, so I read your newsletter. Then I scrolled up to the top to keep thinking about the lovely limited run print. That's when I noticed that you would read the newsletter to me. So I put on your reading and I looked at passion planners and I felt a little less lonely.
Thank you Sophie. Your heart is so good and so vibrant it helped mine up off the floor today. 💗
dear sophie,
thank you as always for this!
love the idea of mindfully listening to a song! and candles! and plants! and reading! and making*! and everything else you mention!
also, two things i love doing that you mention that i specifically want to give a big up to down here:
1) making a plan
2) straying from a plan
i like a plan so much i had it be most of my last name, k? a plan! (or ka-plan, where the "ka" i think is something i learned in the fourth grade is one of the spirits in ancient egyptian lore. a spirit plan! that's me! and anyone else who likes, regardless of name!)
*it's fun that "making" is made of "ma" + "king" which is like motherhood (which involves making) plus being in charge of it all (both in historically gendered ways that i'm happy can go together here in whatever genderless or gender-combo'd way anyone likes). something like that!
that's all for now!
thanks again for all things always!
love,
myq
PS i had a conversation on my podcast with comedian ariel elias (which will come out next week, i believe, and i think i'm right because i'm in charge of my podcast... i am the ma-king of it) where she shared a nice thing that i wanted to share here: she says every night, she and her husband ask each other (and answer) "what was your favorite part of today?" and my girlfriend and i started doing it and we really like it. it's simple and nice and if anyone wants to, they can! (it also works if you forget to do it at night and then ask the next day. or three days later. or whenever.)
okay, THAT'S all for now.
Thank you, I love your 7 things. We all need to rest more, and rest is about changing gears as much as ‘nothingness’.
This is a lovely list. The lotion one was a surprise! But after reading your lotion manifesto, I am persuaded. Thank you for the inspiring nudges.
I love having a paper planner. How retro! I’m going to try some daily small delights. The outside one reminded me of Alexis Nicole @blackforager on Instagram who recently wrote about a mental health mosey looking for vegetation in the midst of winter. With appreciation!
Thank you for this! I love it! <--yes, I really mean those exclamation points that we’re not supposed to overuse.
I’ve been struggling lately with working from home and feeling like I never accomplish the things for myself that I want. This is a game changer for me. So simple yet so important! Now to make my gifts-to-me list.
I found solo parenting a toddler very lonely, and I am a person who is often quite happy to be alone. I think it's because you're not able to do the things that usually make being alone pleasurable - settling into a book, or a project, or getting lost in your thoughts. Your attention has to be on the small person, who may do something hazardous at any moment.
Honestly, I found parenting toddlers exhausting, and often a bit boring. I understand how important it is for them to repeat games and activities, but my adult brain can only take so much of the "build a tower, knock it down" cycle. There ARE MANY wonderful parts of being around toddlers. Watching them learn and experience is a joy. But I think a big part of the joy is sharing the experience with your co-parent and other family. And when your kid does something wonderful, or ridiculous, but you don't have someone close at hand to share it with, you don't always get the same bump to your mood. It can highlight your alone-ness.
So it's not just you <3
Yes! I thoroughly relate to this. Solo parenting is lonely. And exhausting. I love Anna Mathur (the author and psychologist) and her take on how hard this is and why.
I'll look her up!
This so much!! Solo parenting a toddler is so deeply lonely. They can only kinda sorta (if you are lucky) talk back. They are not that interested in what you want or what you want to do, and there are no breaks when another adult can come in the room and share the burden or tag you out on the burden so you can have some time inside your own brain. Then when the kid finally goes to sleep you are limited on what you can do in a way that would normally be fine but is somehow smothering when forced upon you. I definitely door dashed myself concretes from Lickety Split when alone those evenings. Even when I had ice cream in the house. The sheer decadence of getting that concrete delivered, the following along of the (I guess it was uber eats) little car on the map on the app as a connection to you outside of the home was like remembering you were in real life, and then there was ice cream at the end.
Such beautiful gems of advice! Have listed all seven 'presents' in my own planner for important reference purposes. I am DOING THESE THINGS now.
Thank you for this. You have such a talent for breaking things down so that setting goals or trying something new feels a lot more achievable. I also love the idea that we need to devote time just to planning in order to set ourselves up for success.
Can someone please remind me how to LISTEN to this newsletter? I'm a better listener than reader! I subscribed to this newsletter specifically because I enjoy listening.
But I can't figure out how to listen to Sophie reading these herself.
Please help! Thanks.
I had this question too. In the Substack app, the little play button at the top plays it ... But in a robot voice. I chalked it up to being on Android, we always get the short end of the stick!
I had no idea anyone ever listened to those, and they took me a while to record, so I gave up! I recorded one for this week. I'll try to start integrating them again. Thanks for letting me know you like them! Let me know if you have trouble listening to it; it should be embedded at the top.
I had no idea anyone ever listened to those, and they took me a while to record, so I gave up! I recorded one for this week for you, karen. I'll try to start integrating them again. Thanks for letting me know you like them! Let me know if you have trouble listening to it; it should be embedded at the top.
Sophie! I'm feeling lonely today, so I read your newsletter. Then I scrolled up to the top to keep thinking about the lovely limited run print. That's when I noticed that you would read the newsletter to me. So I put on your reading and I looked at passion planners and I felt a little less lonely.
Thank you Sophie. Your heart is so good and so vibrant it helped mine up off the floor today. 💗