A Year of Delights
PLUS: 🎨 a very cute painting of a button quail, and a hot pic of my husband
A Note for You, If You’re Having A Bad Day
It’s late May; another year of my life has turned itself over, and that has come to mean it’s list-writing time. To celebrate my birthday, I’ve been writing numbered lists that match my age — which this year, somehow, is 39. [Here is 38.] [Here is 37.]
The amount that I remember being 29 is spooky. Like, it just happened. Like, we just moved to Chicago, and we had to install a keypad outside the front door of our apartment in case we got locked out, and I programmed the code on the door to be 2-9-3-1 — my age and then Luke’s age — because these ages seemed to be frozen in time. A year felt so long. We got our cats and the thought that we might one day have a human child who would interact with these very cats did not quite compute. It wasn’t something I could imagine. We ate off of plastic plates! We got bedbugs! We were not equipped for a human child.
A person never is equipped for a human child, is what I’ve found out. They seem to be the most difficult of all the animal children. They definitely require the most clothing and high chairs. I’m only bringing it up because the human child is the single thing that separates 39 from 29. There is the person I was before my daughter, and the person after. They are severed. In truth, I’m kind of grateful; otherwise, the reality of 29 being exactly yesterday would be too Twilight Zone for me.
Anyway, it’s been a hard year. But I have a feeling that it’s always a hard year. What feels strangest is knowing that next year, too, will be a hard one; and every one after that. I keep thinking that maybe this year I have my feet on the ground as I move into the future. In fact, as I enter midlife, I can safely assume that I’ll always be a balloon in a cloud of fog, and I may find some peace in the acceptance of this fact.
And in the midst of that is the equally true fact of pleasure and delight; twinkling spots that I have gotten so much better at recognizing. (This is something that does come with age: the recognition that a moment is savorable, and then the propensity to savor it.) So in that spirit, this year I will make a list of 39 delights that I quite enjoyed over the past year. Maybe you can try some of them out for yourself!
Consensual hugging.
Morels on toast. This year, I officially changed my favorite food to “morels on toast.” For the previous 38 years, or at least for as long as there is a record, my favorite food has been “pie.” To cook morels exactly right, use a lot of salted butter (vegan works great), and a little lemon in a skillet.
Crane dances. At the crane foundation with my gf, we got to witness whooping cranes doing their mating calls. Both of us cried. Cranes are monogamous! I like when birds are monogamous; I think it’s so noble of them. Please watch a YouTube video of their spectacular mating display; and try to find one where they pick up sticks and throw them in the air as part of the dance.
Spotted at The Crane Foundation. Women’s basketball. In 2024, it was my New Year’s resolution to get into women’s basketball. I already liked basketball, but only the NBA, and that was because of wanting to impress stupid dumb boys. I bought tickets to see the Chicago Sky a few times last season, and must highly recommend a WNBA game (or local equivalent) to you, reader. It’s a whole different sport. It’s much better.
I didn’t make this pumpkin, but I did understand immediately who it was. Annuals. Whatever, I know perennial plants are better than annual plants, and that native plants are perennial, and I KNOW THIS, I REALLY DO. I have mostly native prairie plants in my garden, and I’m joyful to see them taking over. But I dare you to not be absolutely fucking delighted by a zinnia, or a dahlia, or a sunflower. I DARE YOU.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. Unlike the cranes, “there's no definitive information to suggest they are exclusively monogamous.”
Using the Seek app to identify caterpillars, and find out what kind of butterfly they will become.
Black swallowtail. “Rainbow of Friends” by Michael and Pilar. This is a children’s tape that my grandmother sent to me in June. (She died in November.) My sister and I listened to it nonstop as children. Re-listening made clear that, almost certainly unintentionally, this children’s tape comes across as kinda sexual? It’s a lot of fun. (Listen to “Animal Crackers” on Spotify.)
Bath crayons. Bath crayons have ruined my bathtub. Truly: it will need to be replaced because of the bath crayons. But watching my daughter construct entire worlds on the walls makes the ruined bathtub 1,000% worth it.
Bees. If you have not spent some time simply watching a bee, please take my advice and do it.
Stone fruit with lots of mint and basil. Chopped up in a bowl. Eaten outside at peak season. With some salt and some lemon and cashew mozzarella.
Sand castles. There is not enough in-between sand castling, if you ask me. Either you are a child and you don’t have the patience for a sand castle, or you are an a professional adult sand castler, and you use power tools to shave the sand. Regular adults should each spend one hour per summer (BARE MINIMUM) building a sand castle because it’s fun, sensorily pleasing, and impermanent.
Soft serve. This is the best flavor. YES SOFT SERVE IS A FLAVOR.
Bubble machines. These have gotten very inexpensive, and they change the whole afternoon.
Giving blueberries and watermelon to the chickens.
Holding tomatoes that are way too big in my normal human hands. I don’t like to eat tomatoes, but when someone grows an heirloom varietal and gives one to me, I just love to hold it.
Circle birds. Every time I painted a bird that was a circle, I only regretted that I hadn’t done it sooner.
Painting the sidewalk with food coloring mixed with cornstarch mixed with water.
“Piggy and Elephant.” I’ve loved Mo Willems since a cute boy read “Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus!” to me in a bookstore when I was 22. I love that Piggy and Elephant have obvious voices, and every adult I’ve heard read one of these out loud does the same voices for them.
Flowering artichokes.
As seen in my mom’s yard. The time that a hawk went to get some prey at Montrose Park, and she instead got a whole dildo.
This was on Facebook, and no matter how hard I look I can’t find a photo credit. If you can find it, will you please tell me? Reverse image search was not helpful. Putting your head under the water in the lake. I didn’t used to do this, really. But if you decide that a lake dip doesn’t count unless your head goes under, your life is going to get much, much better.
Elin Hildebrand. It’s been since September that Lindsay Pugh told me I would like watching the Netflix show The Perfect Couple, and I did like it, and then I recognized the author of the book that the series was made from as an author that my gf had read on our seeing-cranes vacation. She told me that the books were not good, but she thought they were fun anyway. So I read Five-Star Weekend, and no, it was not good, but I loved it so, so much. Since then, of her thirty (!!!!!!) novels, I have read or listened to thirteen. WHY? Why is this so compelling? The answer is related to The Babysitters’ Club. As a young reader, I felt snuggliest and safest when reading The Babysitters’ Club. Reader, I consumed ALL OF THEM. Every one. I re-read them when I was done. These Elin books conjure it. Everyone is rich, their problems are solved by random inheritances, the good guys always always win, the clothes are described in minute detail, and THE FOOD is described even more. And plot-wise, they’re tidy. Nothing unfinished. No, they are not good, MAN WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED. (There is a man who I don’t want to embarrass here who apparently asked Kat why she and I were into these.) It is a distinctly girly experience that comes from the specific comfort and safety of a fictional, well-lit inn. Best in show is The Hotel Nantucket. Kat would want me to tell you that one of the main characters is a ghost. Second best: Golden Girl. The protagonist dies in the first chapter and gets to hang out and watch her family deal with her death, and she has a great time doing it.
Bird watching
Particularly cozy this year in a morning boat with a person I love. Lindsay Pugh, my internet friend, came and visited and became a real life friend. I think this should happen more often, and I’m eventually going to write a really good essay about it. For the time being, let me advocate for becoming actual friends with internet people by going to visit them, or meeting somewhere halfway. Lindsay lovingly, kindly made it work.
Having enough highlighters for all the categories. There are so many categories.
Kale.
A blanket can be a cape. All you need is a cape clip.
All the foster animals Kat and Brendan took care of, as well as the actual dog they actually adopted. Kat, who is a frequent mention in this newsletter, is all up on the internet’s animal rescue sites. She is the one who told me to donate $5 to a pigeon rescue whenever I felt out of control. (I do. It helps.) She and her husband have fostered rats and canaries this year, and I guess I didn’t even know you could foster small animals like that. They also adopted an older dog, and his sleepy kind silliness is such a balm to literally everyone’s souls. Every person who meets him is obsessed. So if you’re thinking about animals and how to care for them, consider adopting an older animal, or fostering pretty much anything. There are so many ways to have a kind and loving heart. Thanks, Kat and Brendan, for modeling it!
Drawing castles while lying on the floor. I never thought I could draw a castle, but it turns out anyone can draw a castle. You surprise yourself with what you know how to draw when you try to draw it.
A bigger table. When it comes to tables, bigger is better.
Mums. I’ve made hundreds of tiny bouquets this year, and whenever I get mums, they’re my star. I never expect it; they sort of give carnation energy (which… CARNATIONS TOO have brought me unthinkable delight this year); but they last forever, and all those petals! So many ways for a mum to look. Next year I’ll plant some in earnest.
Ceramics markers on soy sauce dishes. At the Vietnamese market, I fell in love with the size and shape of dishes intended for soy sauce, all stacked up in the back. It struck me that these are the exact right thing to use ceramics markers on — which are markers you can use on ceramics, and then bake in the oven to seal. They become TRINKET DISHES, which are really very important, as trinkets are also delight-bringers. I made 25 around Christmas and can’t wait to make more.
While we’re at it, earthworms.
Winter hand-feeding. A new Christmas Eve tradition: get the birds to land in your hands.
Button quail. I cannot with button quail.
A hot tub in the basement. This was what Luke gave / made me for Christmas. Our basement is unfinished and basically outside, but he hung some nice things to look at on the wall and got a four-person inflatable hot tub (shockingly sturdy) and put it down there for my cold feet and bad back. I go in pretty much every day. If you’ve ever thought, “Hmmmm. Would it be BANANAS to have a HOT TUB in my BASEMENT?” I have an answer for you: no. It would be AWESOME.
Moonrise. I was not aware that you could walk to see the moonrise the way you walk to see the sunrise. You can.
Trampoline parks. Honestly, hand to god: I didn’t know. Did you know?
Murals inside. The New York Times said that indoor murals were in vogue just WEEKS after I painted this in my dining room. Since the paper of record says it’s appropriate, I now want to paint murals on every wall of my house. Would that be overkill?
Looking back at this year of delights, I’m delighted. What delights you? Leave delights in the comments. All delights will be considered, and delighted over as is appropriate.
I would be remiss if I didn’t say: good luck out there, bravely facing all that breaks your heart.
I love you,
Sophie
Housekeeping
The last
in-person cowrite for a while is taking place THIS WEEK — Wednesday, June 4 in Chicago at 4 p.m. There are snacks and a view, and they’re free! I’d love to meet some of you if you’re around. Here’s the newsletter where I put all the details; just scroll down to Housekeeping.Cat Got Your Tongue? by Hannah Shaw, which I illustrated (and it took a LONG TIME, and it was so wonderful to get to work on), is on sale on July 1! Pre-order now!
Also, KIN: The Future of Family comes out on November 11. Save your pre-order receipts! I’m coming up with some fun pre-order goodies for you.
To that end, I’m starting to think about what a self-funded book tour might look like for this book, and I’m interested in doing some events that aren’t just readings. Like: I think it would be cool to organize a letter-making workshop for long distance friendships at a local library. Do you have ideas for workshops, panels, talks, or events you’d want to go to? I’m also interested in where I should visit, and I’d like to know where you are. If you have thoughts, please fill out this incredibly brief survey for me!
Self-funding a book tour will require a little more than I have, and if you want to support such a thing and get a little something for yourself, too, subscribe to a paid tier of this newsletter!
Loose Thoughts
As I write this sentence, I am painting the button quail. The button quail is the only drawing / painting I’m making for this issue, because actually, making art takes such a long time. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by it. I literally never regret painting a bird, though. I think it’s easy and I think it’s fun, and I think it’s important. There is no way to paint a feather. I appreciate birds for their impossibility.
Can you improve your circulation? ALSO, have I asked you guys if anyone gets really really cold noses, and if there is a solution to that? Reddit is turning up nothing for me.
Sky of Sky’s Chili Crisp was one of the first in real life friends I met from this newsletter. I think his mom also reads it — hi, Sky’s mom! Sky fell in love in the most romantic way (I am not going to tell you it; I might get it a little wrong, because it’s not mine, so ask Sky if you want to know!), and now he is moving to Washington State to live with Katie. And they’re going to make fancy drinks together. And maybe chili crisp too. He invited me over to give me a chefs knife, which turned into a chefs knife and a typewriter and a camera and four bags of almond flour, plus other things. I feel really happy I met Sky, and happy that he is making a big leap, too.
For me, the ideal coffee mug is pretty big. I like to have one cup of coffee, full stop. My husband likes smaller cups so he can drink lots throughout the day. You?
I’m hyper-fixated on toast with jam right now. The other foods I’ve experienced this kind of feeling for are: apple cinnamon instant oatmeal, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (which is the same thing as toast with jam), blue Top Ramen. For each of the previous obsessions, a day came where I could not stand the food anymore. Stay tuned; I’ll tell you if this happens with the toast.
I see now that there are two 37s. So... that means a bonus delight for you! You can decide which is the bonus one.
I am just stopping by to say: did you know you can have your bathtub reporcelained? Well you can. So maybe you won't have to replace it in the someday when your daughter is grown up. Also, I too passionately love toast with jam. Especially if it is sourdough toast. Such a delight. :-)