Our family dinner is takeout - started in our COVID bubble as a way to support local restaurants and reducing labor for the host and is still going strong three years later - there's a rotating schedule in a shared google calendar with each household taking a turn per adult (kids eat free;) - if it's your takeout night and you feel like cooking, that's your prerogative. It's the best.
We had family dinner growing up but at least half the time, someone ended up in tears before the end of it....ah, the joy of a huge family and disregulated parents!
i made a kale salad for dinner tonight and it was great! i massaged the kale like you recommended recently, and topped it with pepitas, golden raisins, purple carrots, cucumbers, fresh dill, evo & lemon.
in my small friends circle, we call our get togethers crappy dinner parties. it’s basically just time to get together and eat and enjoy each others company. no cleaning the house, no making fancy food or drinks. just togetherness & kid chaos & fun.
and sophie, i’m sorry i missed the book club, i fully intended to be there, had it on my calendar, but the timing just didn’t work out for me today. hope you all had fun!
i love all of this. i ALSO love kale. and cooking and doing the dishes.
and quaker grace* and rose bud thorn. and touch. and redefining family.
and the five things thing. now i've shared more than five things i loved about this.
(but i did it in only three lines.
okay, four. now five!)
thank you as always for sharing all that you do!
everyone else reading this (i'm sharing to Notes for the first time as well), read what Sophie writes!
it is always thoughtful and kind and peace-inducing, for me.
love,
myq
* i read this thing that Ram Dass wrote once and it really spoke to me (and if the "god" part of it doesn't speak to you, i think the rest of it potentially still can):
"Before I eat, I bless my food. For many people, saying grace in childhood was a time of impatience when adults were controlling the situation, but I’ve discovered that it can become a moment to reawaken a living truth. When I get food, I hold the food up or sit with my hands beside my plate, and I say a blessing. And then I just think about it for a moment and I realize that this whole ritual of praying over food is part of all form, it’s part of law, it’s part of the universe. The food I’m praying over, the bowl of oatmeal or whatever I’m eating, is part of God and I, who am making this prayer, offering up this food, am part of God. And the hunger that I’m using the oatmeal to quiet, the pangs in my stomach, the desires, the fire which will consume this food, that’s also part of God. And I begin to sense the oneness of everything; I start to experience a quietness and then I understand that the deeper I appreciate that it is all one, the deeper I become one with it all, and sense that all separateness is over. I use this prayer all the time to remind me of this, to bring me home."
a friend and i started thanking "food-god" because of it, before meals. in a way that is both tongue in and out of cheek, i think. like, it's funny and it's also meaningful. i'll sometimes say "thank you food-god, thank you hunger-god. thank you you-god, thank you me-god. thank you all-god, thank you thank-god." it's a ritual that i'm happy to have discovered/created.
Thank you for this! I only just now spent some time with it, and I do really love it. Thank you for being unafraid of finding the spirituality that will deepen these ideas. I feel lucky to share space with you.
good stuff and i largely enjoyed it. but since i enjoy playing the contrarian, i wanted to comment on this suggested email:
"My friend Sophie has reminded me that platonic touch is a basic human need. I know, that’s a weird thing to be bringing up with you out of the blue, but she’s right, and it’s true! She linked to scientific articles with ample evidence about it being true. I love you, and I wanted to talk to you about your comfort zones around platonic touch! How do you feel about the following behaviors between the two of us..."
conjures up something i feel about vegans/kosher people (whom i respect greatly) too: it feels like it turns your relationship with food into a battle. and i love food. i don't want to have to constantly be engaging in warfare around it. i don't want to view the chef as my enemy. i don't want to eliminate 80% of the restaurants in any city i travel to. food brings me too much joy for all that.
this email re: touch feels similar. i don't want to write an email asking my friend if it's okay to pat them on the back. that feels like the opposite of friendship. i don't desire to turn everything into a legal negotiation. i want us to be able to run wild sometimes instead of living in an age of constantly asking for consent over trivial things.
likewise, i think it's okay for people to be SLIGHTLY uncomfortable or offended sometimes. that's part of being human and living in a society. you don't always get what you want and that's life. expecting to live a life of 100% comfort at all times feels like ego elevation and part of the I-me-mine inflation so dominant in our culture now.
anyway, "food for thought" for more convo perhaps. 😇
I wish we could have dinner together too.
Soon, right? So soon!
just over three weeks!!!
Our family dinner is takeout - started in our COVID bubble as a way to support local restaurants and reducing labor for the host and is still going strong three years later - there's a rotating schedule in a shared google calendar with each household taking a turn per adult (kids eat free;) - if it's your takeout night and you feel like cooking, that's your prerogative. It's the best.
We had family dinner growing up but at least half the time, someone ended up in tears before the end of it....ah, the joy of a huge family and disregulated parents!
i made a kale salad for dinner tonight and it was great! i massaged the kale like you recommended recently, and topped it with pepitas, golden raisins, purple carrots, cucumbers, fresh dill, evo & lemon.
in my small friends circle, we call our get togethers crappy dinner parties. it’s basically just time to get together and eat and enjoy each others company. no cleaning the house, no making fancy food or drinks. just togetherness & kid chaos & fun.
and sophie, i’m sorry i missed the book club, i fully intended to be there, had it on my calendar, but the timing just didn’t work out for me today. hope you all had fun!
dear Sophie,
i love all of this. i ALSO love kale. and cooking and doing the dishes.
and quaker grace* and rose bud thorn. and touch. and redefining family.
and the five things thing. now i've shared more than five things i loved about this.
(but i did it in only three lines.
okay, four. now five!)
thank you as always for sharing all that you do!
everyone else reading this (i'm sharing to Notes for the first time as well), read what Sophie writes!
it is always thoughtful and kind and peace-inducing, for me.
love,
myq
* i read this thing that Ram Dass wrote once and it really spoke to me (and if the "god" part of it doesn't speak to you, i think the rest of it potentially still can):
"Before I eat, I bless my food. For many people, saying grace in childhood was a time of impatience when adults were controlling the situation, but I’ve discovered that it can become a moment to reawaken a living truth. When I get food, I hold the food up or sit with my hands beside my plate, and I say a blessing. And then I just think about it for a moment and I realize that this whole ritual of praying over food is part of all form, it’s part of law, it’s part of the universe. The food I’m praying over, the bowl of oatmeal or whatever I’m eating, is part of God and I, who am making this prayer, offering up this food, am part of God. And the hunger that I’m using the oatmeal to quiet, the pangs in my stomach, the desires, the fire which will consume this food, that’s also part of God. And I begin to sense the oneness of everything; I start to experience a quietness and then I understand that the deeper I appreciate that it is all one, the deeper I become one with it all, and sense that all separateness is over. I use this prayer all the time to remind me of this, to bring me home."
a friend and i started thanking "food-god" because of it, before meals. in a way that is both tongue in and out of cheek, i think. like, it's funny and it's also meaningful. i'll sometimes say "thank you food-god, thank you hunger-god. thank you you-god, thank you me-god. thank you all-god, thank you thank-god." it's a ritual that i'm happy to have discovered/created.
PS here is a link to the Ram Dass thing if anyone would like to read it and more in its natural habitat: https://www.ramdass.org/blessing-our-food-part-of-god/
Thank you for this! I only just now spent some time with it, and I do really love it. Thank you for being unafraid of finding the spirituality that will deepen these ideas. I feel lucky to share space with you.
i feel the same! thank YOU sophie!
Kale was in my Instagram handle - twice!
You and I are AGGRESSIVELY kindred.
good stuff and i largely enjoyed it. but since i enjoy playing the contrarian, i wanted to comment on this suggested email:
"My friend Sophie has reminded me that platonic touch is a basic human need. I know, that’s a weird thing to be bringing up with you out of the blue, but she’s right, and it’s true! She linked to scientific articles with ample evidence about it being true. I love you, and I wanted to talk to you about your comfort zones around platonic touch! How do you feel about the following behaviors between the two of us..."
conjures up something i feel about vegans/kosher people (whom i respect greatly) too: it feels like it turns your relationship with food into a battle. and i love food. i don't want to have to constantly be engaging in warfare around it. i don't want to view the chef as my enemy. i don't want to eliminate 80% of the restaurants in any city i travel to. food brings me too much joy for all that.
this email re: touch feels similar. i don't want to write an email asking my friend if it's okay to pat them on the back. that feels like the opposite of friendship. i don't desire to turn everything into a legal negotiation. i want us to be able to run wild sometimes instead of living in an age of constantly asking for consent over trivial things.
likewise, i think it's okay for people to be SLIGHTLY uncomfortable or offended sometimes. that's part of being human and living in a society. you don't always get what you want and that's life. expecting to live a life of 100% comfort at all times feels like ego elevation and part of the I-me-mine inflation so dominant in our culture now.
anyway, "food for thought" for more convo perhaps. 😇
p.s re: kale, i have a joke about it's rise in popularity! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAWNyfpoDVE
Where are you? I am starting to worry.
I’ll be back tomorrow! I took the week off to celebrate flowers.
Oh that is very good 😊 I think you might have said that too.. I forgot! Wonderful ☺️