My Secret Tricks For The Holiday Season

PLUS: updated resources

A Note For You, If You’re Having A Bad Day

Hi My Friend,

I have always found this time of year stressful and kind of awful. I think the last time I really loved it I was 12; this was, incidentally, the first time I made a list of “All The Christmas Things I Want To Do” in my diary, which included visiting a furbelowed dairy farm, eating peppermint ice cream, and creating a gingerbread castle.

I guess I’ve always had it in my head that “The Holiday Season” had to be a lot of things, and it had to be those things on a particular timeline (between Thanksgiving and December 31). To be fair, winter holiday things are fun: cookies, singing, peppermint, cookies, more cookies, Hallmark movies, latkes, giving people presents, cookies, hot chocolate, regular chocolate, gelt, sparkles, cookies. But also, it’s so much fun at once! DURING THE DARKEST TIME OF THE YEAR!

Many, many people have increased depression around the holidays. It makes sense. What is happening to your body (a desire to sleep more, eat more, and generally rest) does not match the myriad demands of the human world (make cookies, enjoy cookies with other people, give cookies to strangers, ship cookies across the country to your aunt). (It is possible that I have overestimated the amount that other people give credence to cookies around the holidays, but there are always other things. Replace “cookies” with whatever expectations feel foisted upon you.)

Now 37, I have made some changes around this time of year that have greatly served me. As we enter the final days of The Season, I am ready to conclude that this has been my least-depressed December on record, and I think it is greatly owing to these practical holiday-related implementations.

I’m sharing these with you now. It’s likely too late to use them this year, but you can file them away for next. Indeed, I think planning for next winter is actually pivotal. And anyway, I believe you should be sort of planning for winter all year long, just like other animals do. You know: enjoy your seasons, sure, but stick a few nuts in a hollow log, as it were. 

You Can Only Make One Kind Of Cookie Per Month

I. Love. Cookies. I also love cookie issues of magazines and newspapers, which all debut in early December, because you are supposed to make a ton of cookies for the holidays. In past years, I’ve been so excited about cookies and about cookie season that I have made at least ten separate recipes in the weeks leading up to Christmas. This requires a ton of flour, sugar, and butter, and it definitely makes a person sick because THEY ARE EATING A TON OF COOKIES. Plus, if you are like me, you begin to cut corners. You don’t make the cookies super-well. You are cookiexhausted. (Trademark.)

This year, I read all the Cookie Issues of the publications, and thought about how good many of the cookies looked — but I decided I’d pick just one to bake. The other ones that looked good could be assigned to other months in the year, because cookies are good all year long! In the past, I’ve packed so many cookies into the holiday season that I’ve been pretty much ruined for the rest of the year. 

I made a Future Cookie Calendar. This month I made technicolor cookies, and I’m making miso peanut butter in January. What a relief. 

Buy Every Single Present On Black Friday

I keep an Evernote Doc at the top of my folder titled GIFT IDEAS. All year, I add to it. I see something that reminds me of Kat? It goes on the list. Bethany says, “I would buy one of those sweatshirts”? It goes on the list. I include links to buy wherever possible. On Black Friday, I go item by item and buy all of the things at a deep discount. Then I am done shopping and there is no more shopping. Shopping has ended.

I understand that participating in capitalism this way is problematic. If you don’t need everything to be on sale, pick another day of the year to do all your shopping! But I couldn’t believe how much I stressed out about buying Just The Right Thing for everyone, and saved all that stress for late November. Browsing a sale never works. “Maybe I’ll find something perfect for Luke” turns into one whole hour of scrolling through snarky cookbooks and metal ampersands. I am much better served by knowing what I want to buy, hoping it will go on sale (it almost always does), and buying it without searching for anything extra. 

Similarly, you can make a list of all your people and BRING THE LIST WITH YOU to an art market. (Do not forget to also bring a pen, so you can check people off, as though the people were groceries.) Decide you will buy everything at this art market. Nothing better is coming. This art market is all you have. 

Travel Only During The First Weekend In December

Years ago, I had to travel to Portland in early December to host a baby shower for my sister. I got on the plane on December 9 and simply could not believe how empty it was. I got to sit in the same row as a hot guy (!), and there was an empty middle seat. There were WHOLE ROWS empty on this plane. It struck me that, DUH, no one is flying between Thanksgiving and Christmas. People spend all their money and travel energy on holiday flights. That year, I decided that I would capitalize on this knowledge in the future and always celebrate Christmas in Portland during the first week of December.

That’s what my family did last week, and, while it is inherently chaotic to travel with a two-year-old who has zero understanding about why any human should spend four hours in one tiny, boring space, Early Christmas itself was a PURE JOY. We did it over a long weekend, and chose a Thursday to spend with my mom and dad, where we went to a Christmas tree farm, decorated the tree, wore festive pajamas, drank vegan eggnog (definitely the superior nog, btw), sang carols, and opened all our presents. We also ordered pizza, which is easy to do on Fake Christmas, and impossible to do on Real Christmas. We squeezed it all into one perfect day, everyone had a great time, and then it was over; the pressure fully released. (Taking two days off of work to make this happen is doable for many people, I think.)

What will we do on December 25, you ask? We will watch other people’s pets. We have four pet- and plant-sitting obligations, because other people travel! On Christmas morning, we will make gingerbread waffles, leisurely open our presents for each other, put some Christmas-y thing on the projector, and take long walks with novel dogs. Did you know that actually among the best holiday gift for a true friend is to care deeply about the living things for which they are responsible? I love being able to offer this over the holiday. It is the one thing that no one else is going to be able to get them.

Always Advent Calendar

The advent calendar is a neat little trick that makes you feel like every day you are doing something festive. I bought a wooden one from Macy’s two years ago (on Black Friday, and it was cheap), and last year we filled it with winter-specific activities on scraps of paper (“sing a carol”; “order hot chocolate”; “hug for 20 uninterrupted seconds”), and opened the drawers as adults who carefully metered out their celebratory behavior. This year, my daughter is old enough to grasp the concept of opening a little drawer every day, and so we filled it with candies and things for her. (Mostly things she ALREADY OWNED but FORGOT ABOUT, like plastic kittens.) It was fun to do a grown-up thing every day last year, and this year it is equally fun to have the daily experience of watching my kid puddle into delight when she opens a drawer.

The advent calendar lets you off the hook for all the other stuff. You don’t need to visit a North Pole or attend a parade because you’re going to have your mini at-home celebration every single day when you open the drawer. (Last year we added some outings like, “drive around and look at lights” and, “bring neighbors cookies.”) Get an advent calendar, choose the holiday things you want to make sure you accomplish, and let the universe decide when you will accomplish them. Then don’t worry about it. (PS - This may be the definition of blasphemous, but I really don’t think an advent calendar needs to be Christian, and I feel like all people can use it to just Get Through The Early Winter. Please don’t at me.)

Expect Less From People At Work

People are universally stressed. They’re not getting to their emails very quickly. They have other stuff going on. I really enjoy quietly working during the winter holiday, partially because I like working, but I also find that working this time of year is kind of like going to an empty coffee shop with a laptop, but on a universal level. You can spread out. No one is really paying attention to you. You can draft emails and then schedule them to be sent in late January. Let everyone else be panicked at work, and don’t ask much of them. Then enjoy the solitude of your own productivity.

As a teacher, this manifests for me as completely doing away with the final project of the year. Instead, I scaffold activities so the biggest paper / project comes FIRST, and as light diminishes in the Northern Hemisphere, so does the workload in my class. We do more complex tasks IN class, so we can integrate the work we front-loaded at the beginning of the semester, but I require less and less homework, so that by the end of the semester, their final project is to bring in something they loved to read, or to document an extra hour of sleep they got.

Walk Outside Even If It Is Extremely Cold

I have started walking every day before eating lunch. It struck me that I needed to tack a walk onto a habit that I was going to do no matter what, because if I vaguely intend to walk, I’ll skip it. Even if it’s only for ten minutes, I put on my coat and hat and walk midday through wherever it is in the city I happen to be. I try to be pretty quiet and look at things, or have a think. All the science on the subject says this is one of the best ways to battle Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I can attest to its powers. If you have the capacity to rope a friend into this with you, that would be even better. 

Buy Something You Like To Eat In Bulk

Be on the lookout for a butter cookie, soy sauce, dried mushroom, mint syrup, or fancy spice that you can fall in love with. You can spend all year looking. (What a fun assignment!) Once you’ve found it, buy at least 20 of them at once. This will feel like a lot of money, but you will ultimately be saving quite a bit, because now you have the perfect present for anyone at any time. I bought Sky’s Chili Crisp and Long Table Pancake Mix. Having a thing I don’t have to think about to give to people I love is kind of priceless.

In the past, I’ve done a more intense version of this, by curating a list of small things I enjoy using all year long. I have included pens, face masks, poems, books, sticker sheets, etc. Then I write a short newsletter about how much I loved each thing and why. I print them all out, package them all up, and give the bundles to my nearest and dearest. It’s a great way to reflect on the year.

*

As you enter into what absolutely might be a stressful week (and might be a restful one!), please keep in mind that our collective stress is objectively higher. Our animal bodies have a lot of need. As an animal, you have to take care of your own needs first; if you don’t, you’ll go looking to other people to meet them, and you’ll be resentful when you’re unfed despite all the feeding you’re doing. Get as much sleep as you can. Eat things with vegetables in them — especially leafy greens, which are densely populated with vitamins. Wear a mask if you feel iffy about being in a big public space. Or don’t go out at all! You don’t owe anyone your reasons; you get to take care of yourself — the end. Whatever decisions you make, know that the season is fleeting. In under 48 hours, the days in the Northern Hemisphere will stretch out again, slowly, slowly, slowly. 

In the meantime, as always, good luck out there, bravely facing all that breaks your heart.

Love,

Sophie

Housekeeping:

• Thank you all for the support you’ve given my small business this year. I am floored and so full of gratitude. Even just being here, now, reading this sentence is a gift of attention that I really and truly do feel so thankful for.

• Last week, when I posted my piece about Palestine, I got a lot of feedback. Some people were angry, others were disappointed, others were sad, and many others were grateful. The thing that I saw most gratitude for was Ari’s resources. I asked if she would make the resources a living document, for her to add to and change as much as she sees fit. The document has changed and streamlined quite a bit already. HERE IS THE DOCUMENT. Feel free to share it with friends and family; also, please feel free to email me (sophielucidojohnson@gmail.com) if you want to see something added, or you take issue with what’s there. I’ll pass your notes on to Ari.

• I am trying to fill (to at least 5 people!) my January bird painting classes, since I am unable to teach at my regular job in January. Running this class in October was the most fun thing I’ve done in a long, long time. I feel like this would make a nice last-minute gift for a friend, too — you can order a class for them and I’ll send you a gift card. A note that if you’d like to take one of these classes but it’s prohibitively expensive for you, please reach out! I’ll see what I can do.

  • wednesdays at noon CT (no one has signed up for this class yet, and I might have to cancel it!): SIGN UP HERE

  • tuesdays at 7 p.m. CT: SIGN UP HERE

  • One-time Saturday workshop on January 13: SIGN UP HERE

• If you want to get ME a holiday present, consider signing up for a paid subscription! $5 a month scores you a ton of bonus material and opportunities, and it is the only way I can continue to write this newsletter.

• Also, I’m putting out my MAIL for the in-the-mail subscribers on December 30. To subscribe to that tier, you sign up as a founding member; you can change the $250 price point to anything above $50 that works for you. You’ll get quarterly mailings of prints, stickers, etc. Yes, I mail internationally!

Loose Thoughts:

• I am in the 20th floor of a building, where my office is located. Out the window, just a few minutes ago, I saw a POLICE HELICOPTER which was EXACTLY AT EYE LEVEL to my office! This blew my mind. I don’t even know what to say about it, except I’ve probably been watching too many birds and am too amazed by giant things that fly.

• T loves her new daycare. She is so eager to go to school every day; she runs in and barely seems to register that I am leaving. Her favorite teacher is someone who looks very similar to a person who deeply broke my heart, and I’m finding this an interesting practice in jealousy and minor grief, to see my daughter so in love with someone who reminds me of a love I’ve lost. The school is a place where the kids do paintings and spend time outside even if it’s really cold. It works for her.

• New language acquisitions for T: “two books” (which means, “Read me two books, or else”); “CANDY!” (Which means, “Look at what was in this advent calendar!”); all the lyrics to “The 12 Days of Christmas” (most of which are not correct, but she knows the numbers and “five golden rings”); pretty much all the body parts, with special interest in “teeth” and “tongue”; “Hi, Guys!”; and “I love you.”

• A singular joy that I get to experience but you do not is watching people ice skate from above. Today is a busy ice skating day. In Chicago, ice skate rentals cost money, but most days, the actual skating is free. I love watching people spin and jump and stretch. I endlessly wonder what they are thinking about.