Man did this resonate. And that drawing! I knew immediately I had to have one. There is so much grieving in my life right now. There is no part of it that doesn’t feel radically different from my life three years ago, some of it is for the better but so much feels like so much loss. And I, too, have the eye-rolling voice telling me I’m dramatic, sensitive, making everything a big deal. (She looks like me and sounds like my mother and father both). I know she’s wrong and I sometimes just don’t have the wherewithal to tune her out. I also have a notetaker keeping a list called “ways you’re just like your mother” and it’s not good. Anyway, I felt every single one of your losses and slights and I’m sorry you’re experiencing them and I hope you feel better soon. ❤️
It's really helped me to understand how, like trauma, grief is highly specific to your individual experiences. One person might really struggle with the party with one attendee, while another person might be totally thrilled to have had a quality hang out with one person. Both experiences and their associated feelings are valid.
Sending hugs and condolences on your recent loss. Scratch sounds like a really special pal.
I absolutely know that what i am about to say won’t make up for the disappointments and heartaches. But, I want you to know that your faithful community of Erins that exists right now really cares about you. If we could, we would have come to share dip, bring old baby clothes or baby clothes stories, stomped our feet at the graduate programs that are so short sighted as to not see your value and to grieve with you over Scratch. We would lift you up. I hope we do.
Thank you for this. Thank you for your honesty and, truly, wisdom. Your words made me realize how important it is to acknowledge and permit ourselves to grieve. Kiss comes in many forms and sometimes it smacks you on the back of the head taking you utterly by surprise. Accepting the grief is so hard sometimes. I realized, yesterday when I was at a board meeting for a women’s club, that I may have started to surface from the grief I have been trying to allow and accept. One of the board members said to me, “ Your beautiful smile makes me think you’ve had good news about x”. I haven’t. But I said to her, “I am so happy to be here with everyone today”. It was true. I realized that by allowing myself to be as sad as I was and struggle to just be where I was, I had found a new appreciation for the moment. I’m still working on things but I’ve gained that appreciation for those days when I do actually know I am good enough. Thank you and I wish you some peace. I too wish I could have come to your baby gear swap. Try again when it’s warmer. I think it’s a fabulous idea.
I so appreciate the audio recordings that you do. I've mentioned before that I have eye issues and how much I appreciate that you do it, but I wanted to say it again. Also, I have a newsletter too, and I also draw quite a lot, so I didn't really know how to do audios for mine, but I love what you did, not even explaining that they were drawings, but talking to the content in them. Love it. Thank you!
Oh sweet Scratch and oh tender Sophie! It is a magnificent thing that the two of you found each other. It is so wildly unfair that you didn't have more time together. Today I will sing sweet chicken songs to Scratch and to you.
I needed to read about grieving today to learn more about myself right now, in the haze I've been in for a month or so. I too am grieving. Thank you Sophie. Thank you Scratch.
dear sophie,
thank you for sharing all of this.
i'm so sorry to hear about Scratch. my biggest condolences. it's so sad.
thank you for honoring Scratch and us and sharing all of this with us here.
i love you and i love Scratch and i send you all the love i can (which i think is all the love, the one love that is the all love).
love,
myq
Man did this resonate. And that drawing! I knew immediately I had to have one. There is so much grieving in my life right now. There is no part of it that doesn’t feel radically different from my life three years ago, some of it is for the better but so much feels like so much loss. And I, too, have the eye-rolling voice telling me I’m dramatic, sensitive, making everything a big deal. (She looks like me and sounds like my mother and father both). I know she’s wrong and I sometimes just don’t have the wherewithal to tune her out. I also have a notetaker keeping a list called “ways you’re just like your mother” and it’s not good. Anyway, I felt every single one of your losses and slights and I’m sorry you’re experiencing them and I hope you feel better soon. ❤️
These facets of grief remind me of Cole Imperi's concept of "shadow loss": https://coleimperi.com/shadowloss
It's really helped me to understand how, like trauma, grief is highly specific to your individual experiences. One person might really struggle with the party with one attendee, while another person might be totally thrilled to have had a quality hang out with one person. Both experiences and their associated feelings are valid.
Sending hugs and condolences on your recent loss. Scratch sounds like a really special pal.
I absolutely know that what i am about to say won’t make up for the disappointments and heartaches. But, I want you to know that your faithful community of Erins that exists right now really cares about you. If we could, we would have come to share dip, bring old baby clothes or baby clothes stories, stomped our feet at the graduate programs that are so short sighted as to not see your value and to grieve with you over Scratch. We would lift you up. I hope we do.
Thank you for this. Thank you for your honesty and, truly, wisdom. Your words made me realize how important it is to acknowledge and permit ourselves to grieve. Kiss comes in many forms and sometimes it smacks you on the back of the head taking you utterly by surprise. Accepting the grief is so hard sometimes. I realized, yesterday when I was at a board meeting for a women’s club, that I may have started to surface from the grief I have been trying to allow and accept. One of the board members said to me, “ Your beautiful smile makes me think you’ve had good news about x”. I haven’t. But I said to her, “I am so happy to be here with everyone today”. It was true. I realized that by allowing myself to be as sad as I was and struggle to just be where I was, I had found a new appreciation for the moment. I’m still working on things but I’ve gained that appreciation for those days when I do actually know I am good enough. Thank you and I wish you some peace. I too wish I could have come to your baby gear swap. Try again when it’s warmer. I think it’s a fabulous idea.
I do NOT understand people who wear pants that show their bare ankles when it's anything other than hot or warm out!
Big hugs and condolences for Scratch ❤️
This was a beautiful essay and reminder, as always.
I so appreciate the audio recordings that you do. I've mentioned before that I have eye issues and how much I appreciate that you do it, but I wanted to say it again. Also, I have a newsletter too, and I also draw quite a lot, so I didn't really know how to do audios for mine, but I love what you did, not even explaining that they were drawings, but talking to the content in them. Love it. Thank you!
Oh sweet Scratch and oh tender Sophie! It is a magnificent thing that the two of you found each other. It is so wildly unfair that you didn't have more time together. Today I will sing sweet chicken songs to Scratch and to you.
I needed to read about grieving today to learn more about myself right now, in the haze I've been in for a month or so. I too am grieving. Thank you Sophie. Thank you Scratch.