what a delightful piece, as always! thank you for sharing all of these thoughts/words/things.
some of my favorite thoughts/words/things you have shared here:
AN INCREDIBLY RESONANT PARAGRAPH: "Once I tried to explain my fear of getting trouble with authority figures — and the low bar I have for what an 'authority figure' is (basically anyone who is not me) — and my friend Jill told me I needed exposure therapy, and should practice asking strangers for things more often. I was sort of like, Why practice doing that when I can just stay in my house and put my head under a bunch of blankets?"
A PARAGRAPH FULL OF BEAUTIFUL TRUTHS: "Everyone scary wakes up in the morning unsure about what will happen in their day. They take off their night clothes and put on their day clothes. They feel hungry; they eat. (Though, a lot of scary people don’t eat enough, tbh.) Some people look in the mirror and say something like,'You can do this. Be strong.' Or whatever. People try to convince themselves they’re more than an animal, surviving. But no one is."
A MEANINGFUL HELPFUL PARAGRAPH: "For now: if you feel like you’re in trouble, I want to remind you that the word trouble has the same root as turbulence, and turbulence is temporary. I’ll be your pilot and tell you to stay in your seat; but this will pass."
A VERY FUNNY PART OF A PARAGRAPH: "Have I complained about this before? If so, I’m curious why the novelists whose books I read don’t read my newsletter."
This is one of the same brands of anxiety I have (re: authority). But also, take those little pet shops home. They're yours, and they're worth a buttload of money.
Oof this hit hard. Really recognized myself. My parents definitely put an emphasis on raising 'good girls', and whilst I honestly feel like their intent was to bring up kind, helpful and compassionate members of society - in my case it definitely instilled a level of anxiety strongly linked to wanting to do the RIGHT thing, and definitely not be thought of negatively by anyone - no matter what a douche canoe they may happen to be.
My youngest sister grew up rebellious though. And doesn't suffer or have patience for shit from anyone. So who knows where the balance of our personalities actually comes from.
This week is a big hard week in therapy. I'm specifically sorting through some "am I in trouble?" feels leftover from childhood. When your newsletter popped into my inbox, I sobbed.
The fear of the authority figure that you yourself has put in that position is SO real. I very much do not like being in trouble or even in its orbit. Sometimes I put on a little character inside my head when interacting with "authority" figures in service industry spaces, who is a kinda-folksy prairie/midwest dad-on-holidays character.
With this energy, I recently asked if I could get a floor model discount on the water carbonator I wanted when the clerk discovered the colour I wanted was on back order. SHE SAID YES. And I got the carbonator I wanted and 15% off!
Re: Loose Thought #4. Agree. And would like to offer an additional odd turn of phrase that I keep coming across is "________, like so many ________". Eg: The words fall from my mouth like so many dead leaves.
i felt this one on my bones. let me relate a small anecdote of teen holly:
i was in calculus class in high school, and i had the hiccups. the guy in front of me turned around and very seriously and sternly told me i had better stop hiccuping or i would fail the class. and i stopped hiccuping immediately. it was the only time anyone actually scared the hiccups out of me.
i will say that the one consistent way i flaunt authority and run the risk of getting in trouble is… speeding. i’m a good driver, i pay attention and am quite safe, but i cannot drive the speed limit on the freeway, unless it’s raining. and then i’m even more careful because people in california do not know how to drive in any sort of weather.
Unironically, working a few service jobs cured me of my anxiety for asking for things at establishments. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I genuinely love helping people find things when I'm at work, so whenever someone comes up to me with "ok, weird question, but...", I'm internally (and sometimes externally) like "hell yeah, let's go on a scavenger hunt." I've also had to deal with enough unpleasant requests that I know the bar is literally underground, so I stopped feeling bad about asking for things nicely and accepting the first no.
Unfortunately, this does not extend to like asking for a raise, but little steps, eh?
<3 There are a few different artists who I love the idea of showering with compliments. And I'm tickled when they reply. But admittedly, I am not one for a lot of inner thoughts so I haven't imagined future or "daydream about how you might have a whole conversation." They are (in no order): YOU!, Lea Redmond, Will McPhail, Tommy Siegel. I have messaged all of you and all have replied! I have met Lea and Tommy (Lea is not my neighbor and close friend!). I believe life is far too short not to immediately tell somehow how lovely their work is and how impactful/wonderful it is to have it in my life <3
I’m sure everyone else is relating to getting in trouble. But for me the highlight of this newsletter is OMG LAURIE BERKNER!! I’m so considering metra-ing to Ravinia this summer to see her with my kids. You ask if I know that feeling and YES! Of course! I had it with YOU! You may be a very minor celebrity but you feel like one in my world. And now I’m occasionally rubbing elbows with the Rich (in eggs) and Famous.
dear sophie,
what a delightful piece, as always! thank you for sharing all of these thoughts/words/things.
some of my favorite thoughts/words/things you have shared here:
AN INCREDIBLY RESONANT PARAGRAPH: "Once I tried to explain my fear of getting trouble with authority figures — and the low bar I have for what an 'authority figure' is (basically anyone who is not me) — and my friend Jill told me I needed exposure therapy, and should practice asking strangers for things more often. I was sort of like, Why practice doing that when I can just stay in my house and put my head under a bunch of blankets?"
A PARAGRAPH FULL OF BEAUTIFUL TRUTHS: "Everyone scary wakes up in the morning unsure about what will happen in their day. They take off their night clothes and put on their day clothes. They feel hungry; they eat. (Though, a lot of scary people don’t eat enough, tbh.) Some people look in the mirror and say something like,'You can do this. Be strong.' Or whatever. People try to convince themselves they’re more than an animal, surviving. But no one is."
A MEANINGFUL HELPFUL PARAGRAPH: "For now: if you feel like you’re in trouble, I want to remind you that the word trouble has the same root as turbulence, and turbulence is temporary. I’ll be your pilot and tell you to stay in your seat; but this will pass."
A VERY FUNNY PART OF A PARAGRAPH: "Have I complained about this before? If so, I’m curious why the novelists whose books I read don’t read my newsletter."
thank you for sharing all these parts and wholes!
love
myq
I've never related to any piece of writing as much as I relate to being in trouble. Thank you. You are a gem. ox
This is one of the same brands of anxiety I have (re: authority). But also, take those little pet shops home. They're yours, and they're worth a buttload of money.
Oof this hit hard. Really recognized myself. My parents definitely put an emphasis on raising 'good girls', and whilst I honestly feel like their intent was to bring up kind, helpful and compassionate members of society - in my case it definitely instilled a level of anxiety strongly linked to wanting to do the RIGHT thing, and definitely not be thought of negatively by anyone - no matter what a douche canoe they may happen to be.
My youngest sister grew up rebellious though. And doesn't suffer or have patience for shit from anyone. So who knows where the balance of our personalities actually comes from.
Dear Sophie,
This week is a big hard week in therapy. I'm specifically sorting through some "am I in trouble?" feels leftover from childhood. When your newsletter popped into my inbox, I sobbed.
Thank you
Love,
Rainbow
hugs rainbow, i’ve been there and it’s a lot. you’re doing great.
The fear of the authority figure that you yourself has put in that position is SO real. I very much do not like being in trouble or even in its orbit. Sometimes I put on a little character inside my head when interacting with "authority" figures in service industry spaces, who is a kinda-folksy prairie/midwest dad-on-holidays character.
With this energy, I recently asked if I could get a floor model discount on the water carbonator I wanted when the clerk discovered the colour I wanted was on back order. SHE SAID YES. And I got the carbonator I wanted and 15% off!
Re: Loose Thought #4. Agree. And would like to offer an additional odd turn of phrase that I keep coming across is "________, like so many ________". Eg: The words fall from my mouth like so many dead leaves.
i felt this one on my bones. let me relate a small anecdote of teen holly:
i was in calculus class in high school, and i had the hiccups. the guy in front of me turned around and very seriously and sternly told me i had better stop hiccuping or i would fail the class. and i stopped hiccuping immediately. it was the only time anyone actually scared the hiccups out of me.
i will say that the one consistent way i flaunt authority and run the risk of getting in trouble is… speeding. i’m a good driver, i pay attention and am quite safe, but i cannot drive the speed limit on the freeway, unless it’s raining. and then i’m even more careful because people in california do not know how to drive in any sort of weather.
Unironically, working a few service jobs cured me of my anxiety for asking for things at establishments. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I genuinely love helping people find things when I'm at work, so whenever someone comes up to me with "ok, weird question, but...", I'm internally (and sometimes externally) like "hell yeah, let's go on a scavenger hunt." I've also had to deal with enough unpleasant requests that I know the bar is literally underground, so I stopped feeling bad about asking for things nicely and accepting the first no.
Unfortunately, this does not extend to like asking for a raise, but little steps, eh?
<3 There are a few different artists who I love the idea of showering with compliments. And I'm tickled when they reply. But admittedly, I am not one for a lot of inner thoughts so I haven't imagined future or "daydream about how you might have a whole conversation." They are (in no order): YOU!, Lea Redmond, Will McPhail, Tommy Siegel. I have messaged all of you and all have replied! I have met Lea and Tommy (Lea is not my neighbor and close friend!). I believe life is far too short not to immediately tell somehow how lovely their work is and how impactful/wonderful it is to have it in my life <3
typos! NOW! Lea is now my DEAR neighbor/friend!
I’m sure everyone else is relating to getting in trouble. But for me the highlight of this newsletter is OMG LAURIE BERKNER!! I’m so considering metra-ing to Ravinia this summer to see her with my kids. You ask if I know that feeling and YES! Of course! I had it with YOU! You may be a very minor celebrity but you feel like one in my world. And now I’m occasionally rubbing elbows with the Rich (in eggs) and Famous.